Trust Issues

I think I have trust issues.

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When it comes to matters of trust, I always find myself having a different opinion about it. I know trust is earned but a lot of things that has happened to me in the past has taught me that that trust can be broken faster than it was earned.

As a kid, I did a lot of things (not bad things) just to make sure I earned my own money. I would go with my friends to go do menial jobs like packing of sands or mixing of cement in a construction site.

I wasn’t doing any of that because we were poor and couldn’t feed, no. My parents didn’t even know I did this things. They always thought I went to play but the thing was that while food wasn’t a problem for me and my family, I needed some video games that some of my rich friends had, things like a Gameboy, and knowing that my dad wouldn’t get that for me because I didn’t really need it, I decided to work myself to get it.

Aside from helping people out in construction sites, me and my friends also sold things like old irons or wood or whatever, there was always someone buying something no matter how weird that thing was.

Anyways, one day we walked into this abandoned uncompleted building that was right next to another building where people lived in. We saw this old chair and thought that it was probably condemned seeing how it was in an abandoned building, so we took it. We smashed it into different parts before selling it. Fast forward to later that night, a lady who turned out to be the owner of the chair went to meet my friends mom, shouting at her that her son went to steal her chair from where she kept him.

Instead of my friends mom to be the cool lady I’ve always thought she was and handle the whole situation discreetly, she brought it to my parents. I think that was the first day anyone from outside was bringing a complain about me to my parents. That day, I received an ass whooping of a life time. But you see, none of this made me have trust issues. No one did anything to my friend but I was cool with that, until I walked past their window later that night then I overheard them talking about the whole issue.

Apparently the reason why my friend’s mom didn’t whoop her son was because he told her that it was all my idea to go into the uncompleted building and it was also my idea to take the chair and sell it. I just stood by the side of the window and listened while fighting with every muscle in my body to keep shut.

And as if that wasn’t enough, his elder brother started saying things about me that weren’t true. The amount of self control I had that day needs to be studied because I knew that all I wanted to do back then was just yell at the top of my voice that all what they were saying was a lie.

Anyways, after that day, I never really told him that I heard all what he said. I just pretended like I knew nothing but made sure to never trust him ever again. That was the beginning of me having trust issues.