Forced Marriages
Silly!
What were you thinking? What exactly were you expecting?
Finding a soul mate is all but a lie, cooking up weird and lame stories just to satisfy our longing for fantasy and fairy tales.
If falling in love or finding one's soul mate was real and not just a myth then our forefathers would have first experienced or encountered it.
Why do you even believe in love at first sight? That's not even a thing, I mean how do you fall in love by just meeting someone for the first time?
Cut the crab Sophia, its high time you accept your fate and get married to Mr.Johnson, and stop dreaming or talking about finding love and soul mate. That is never gonna happen, maybe not in this lifetime, you can try again in the next but for now, you really should get yourself prepared because Mr.Johnson will be coming with his family members soon to ask for your hand in marriage.
Hello!
I am Sophia, 19 years old. I wish to live a little longer and experience life for myself before thinking about marriage but my mom already thinks I should be in an old man's house whom she calls my husband.
She doesn't want me to talk about love or soulmate of a thing. She doesn't believe in falling in love or finding true love and happiness.
She thinks that being married is some kind of an achievement, not minding if it is at the expense of one's happiness.
My mom doesn't care any less, she just needs the dowry, and she does everything in her power to make sure she gets it even if it means marrying us off at an early age.
Speaking of such, my elder sis is already married with two kids. My mom forced her to marry a businessman in Lagos and she did this at the age of 18 years. Quite early right? Now you understand why she thinks I have overstayed my welcome at home.
She wants me out, yes she wants to send me off.
Crying every night seemed to be the only resolution for me since I can't do anything about it. I have pleaded with my mom many times but she has already made up her mind and there is absolutely nothing anyone could change that.
And this is what I believed until after receiving a call from Richard which later made me have a change of heart and speak up for myself.
Richard, my very good friend called one night and realized I was sobbing, he asked me about the situation at my home and what has been going on. I couldn't tell him my mom wanted to marry me off.
Richard wouldn't take it lightly. No! It wouldn't settle well with him.
Richard is a very good friend that knows me rather too well. He knows the plans I have for marriage and the things I expect. So him hearing about such a thing might make him lose his mind.
I wasn't going to risk it by telling him so when he asked about home and everything, I only told him all is going on well which is an obvious lie.
How much I wanted to let Richard know the truth about what's going on back here at home.
How much I wish I can scream and be let loose as this is suffocating.
I really wish I could tell someone everything and let them share in my pain and burden but I can't.
It seems this burden is mine and mine alone, it can't be shared and shouldn't be.
I realized I needed to deal with my problems and not get others involved.
I made up my mind to let my mom know that I wasn't going to married anyone except my heart says so.
I wasn't going to be forced to marry an old man. I can't be forced into marriage because I knew too well that I will suffer the whole of my life.
I had to muster all the courage to let the truth out. To let my mom know my decision on this issue.
And even though she wouldn't treat me the same again after that, I don't care I just can't do anything against my will or heart and that was final.
PS: This is just based on my thought about issues of arranged and forced marriages
What do you guys take on arranged marriage?
Are you a supporter of such actions or activities? Do you feel or think it is right and there is nothing wrong to force marriage and marital life on a person even when they aren't ready for it?
Let's hear your contribution and opinion on this, thank you!
Still your baby girl ;)
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16 August 2021
speaking of.....
have you heard from our friend lately????
Which of our friend Ma? 🤔
Will send in DM
I need me a soul mate. @edistringz would you do me the honor??..
Finding a soul mate is one of the most beautiful things that can happen to you. What does it mean to have a "soul" "mate"?..It's having someone who's soul is one with yours.
I'm so sorry sophia, you shouldn't have to go through all that at a very young age, you still have to make mistakes, see life, make beautiful memories before even try thinking about taking care of a home. Forced marriage should have died with our forefathers, it's a new age and things should be done differently. I hope your mum see's reason and let you fall in love
Lol.
Make mistakes? now that one is very deep and strong lol.
I am still glad Sophia stood up for herself in the long run, I guess you didn't decipher that part well.😃
Great article. Parents do this a lot without minding the happiness of their children. Most times the marriage doesn't work out well. Every loving parent should go find out more about whom they intend their child to marry. Age, wealth and status of the suitor should not be the important thing. They need to prepare their daughter for marriage. A girl should be ready mentally for marriage, not whether she is of age to marry or not. Besides what does a 19 yr old know that she will contribute in a marriage anyway? I fear.
Lol. If you ask me, who will I ask?😂
19 is another baby in marriage😂
I hope our parents will know better though.
I would say it depends on you, your culture and upbringing.
In Asia most girls never have a say in their marriage, they accept their parents choice and live by it.
If I look at people from my older generations, they seemed to be fine.
My parents for example didn't have any issues with that, though I have heard mom say she did protest to her father about my dad being a smoker, she seemed to have accepted that and they were fine enough.
Its all about personal perspective and choices.
Marriage is a matter of adjustment to someone else. Its not easy and we think that knowing someone make it easier for us.
I knew my fiance (now husband) for three years before we got married, by it was still hard to adjust.
I am of the opinion that it is an individual choice. No one can be forced, arranged is fine.
@dreemport
If one can adapt to it later in the future then it's fine.
And yes it depends mostly on where a person comes from.
Thanks for your opinion and feedback on this.
May be there exists love at first sight or it's an intense attraction one gets caught into ... But love can never be forceful. Even if it's an arrange marriage parents must take the consent of their children.
@dreemport
The truth remains that no one can force me to marry the person I don't want stay with.
Gone are tye days when those practices are being carried out, not now that our young ladies are wise and cannot be forced into marriage like before, though not withstanding, there are still some place where this kind of act still exist, not common.
I don't even for once support that tradition of giving out a lady to man, somebody I don't know, somebody I don't even know how he behaves, imagine that kind of a thing, if should check it,is not balance at at.
Staying with a person you don't know before will always bring conflict between both of them, because they are not use to each other behavior, I prefer to start from scratch.
@dreemport