I hate this feeling

You see, my story about jealousy is a funny one, it is funny because I wasn’t jealous about something that was important and would see me get to a better stage in life, I was jealous about someone else’s girlfriend.

_{Photo from pixabay}

Now before I dive deep into this story, I will like it to be noted that this event happened some few years ago (two, three years ago) and I’ve since then now focus on things that truly matters in life Lol.

Now back to the story.

The thing about Jealousy is that I hate it, so much and I believe so does everybody. But you see sometimes, there are situations where we really can’t help it but feel jealous and I found myself in one of those situations when I fell for a lady who already had a boyfriend.

We both lived in the same hostel at the time and I had this huge crush on her, a crush that I didn’t hesitate to let her know about it. At the time I told her how I felt, I had no idea she had a boyfriend and when I told her my feelings, she had laughed at me and told me to my face to kill whatever feelings I had for her because she had a boyfriend. It was a very brutal no and luckily for me, I wasn’t in that deep so it was easy for me to move on.

We still remained friends and I just tried super hard to make sure I killed whatever special feelings I had for her and just when I was starting to be successful at that, something happened. She confessed to me that she was starting to feel the same way about me too.

Now this was a lady who had mockingly told me that nothing was ever going to happen between the both of us so I said to myself “Hey she mocked you, it’s time to get your revenge by playing along” because I no longer had feelings for her.

But ladies and gentlemen, the heart is tricky. The plan had been to just play along and not feel anything for her but somewhere along the line I missed my way and the feelings started to find it’s way back into my heart and that was when the jealous started to come in.

You see she had not been joking when she told me she had a boyfriend so whenever her boyfriend would come visit , we would both pretend like we didn’t know each other while they both spend hours of alone time inside.

It was hurting like hell.

It got to a point where whenever he was around, I would go visit my friends in other to keep myself and my mind preoccupied with something else and avoid thinking about the both of them. That worked for a while but then the heart can only take so much so I called it quit and just ended the whole thing. I thought I had a strong heart but even my heart couldn’t take something like that, the jealousy was massive and I hated feeling that way so ending it was the only reasonable thing to do and that was what I did.