Heavy is The Head That Wears The Crown

Earlier today I was talking to my dad on the phone, and when we finished having our conversation, I realized how free I've gotten with him over the years, compared to before, when talking to him felt like I was talking to a drill sergeant and one wrong word from me could see me get punished.

_{photo by Liv Bruce}

Back then, it was so bad that whenever I and my siblings were in the living room watching television and my dad came to sit with us, we would all get up one after the other and leave the room. This wasn't because we didn't want to be in the same room with him, but this was because we were scared of the man and didn't want to get punished by him for doing anything.

But the same wasn't the case for my mom, and this was because she rarely punished us for anything, and this was mostly because whenever we did something we weren't supposed to, she would wait until my dad got back home from work and then report us to him.

I believe a lot of mothers did this same thing, as the dad is always seen as the one who raises the cane on us, while after getting whooped by him, our mom would occasionally try to make us feel better one way or the other.

Now while this felt good at the time, I believe it was indirectly affecting us in ways we didn't know at the time because slowly, our brain was starting to come to the conclusion that the father was the danger, while the mother was where peace is.

And if you ask me, that was where it all started . That was where the fear for fathers and the love for mothers began. And although I do believe that it wasn't our mother's intention for us to fear our fathers and love them, that is what has been happening, and that is why a lot of kids these days would find it a lot easier spending time on the phone with their mom, while they can't even bear sitting in the same living room with their father for five minutes.

And this is sad, because it does hurt him, but as a man, he says nothing but suck it and probably just believes that was the price he had to pay to train his kids the right way.