MELISSA ~ How Do I Forgive?

All I ever wanted was a home.
All my life I have long for a mother's love and care which I never had.
You know why? Because she deprived me of it. My very own mother deprived me of that.
She would rather abandon me to leave with another man that wasn't even my father than to stay with me or even care about my well-being.
And now you are talking about forgiveness?
Oh, you dare not teach me the scripture, Olivia.
I know the scripture as much as you do.
This is very painful, you of all people know this.

You saw my toil, you knew all my pains.
You were there with me when I went through all the troubles, the struggles, and challenges.
You were there when it all happened.
You even witnessed the whole scene and now you are talking about forgiveness?
I would have been so angry at you if not that you are my only friend and the only thing I ever had since when I was left all alone.

Tears were already dripping down my cheeks and I couldn't hold them back any longer.
I sobbed my heart out and Olivia tried all she could to comfort me.
She held me close and embrace me, patting me to cry my heart out the more.
She is all I had, Olivia has always been with me since the day my mom abandoned me. We have been friends right from childhood.
She usually came to my place to play when her mom goes to the market.
Her mom took me in and treated me like her own daughter.
I don't know what I would have done without Olivia and her family.
They accepted me and nurtured me with the love and care my mother deprived me of.

Olivia knows my pains more than anyone. She sees them all.
There were times I sat up all night crying and sobbing but she always comforted me back to sleep.
She was there to console me and treated me like a younger sister she never had.
We went to the same school. Olivia aspired to become an engineer. She was always good with mathematics while I, on the other hand, a doctor.
We graduated with good grades and venture into our different fields.

Everything was finally working well for both of us. Both Olivia and I secured a good job in a country that graduates were incapable of securing even an average job.
But now with my mom back into our lives, things became difficult for me again, not Olivia but me.
She was happy that my mom was back and she was hoping that we reconciled.
But I never wanted that, no I was too hurt and pained to reconcile with my mom.
The scar she left was too deep to heal even when it had all been forgotten.
Seeing her again and having her come back into my life was like opening an old wound that I never wanted to risk.

I don't want to reconcile with my mom, I kept telling Olivia this but she just wouldn't let me think straight.
She kept chewing me out with the scriptural verses of forgiving and letting go of all our hurts.
Not that she was wrong about all these things but where do I start from?
How do I begin? The pain my mother has caused me was too much to bear and handle and I wasn't sure I could ever forgive her for it.

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Hello Olivia? I will be checking in with you after work.
Is that okay with you?
Yes sure of course
Alright then, see you later, bye

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Get me a glass of water, please?
I was in a nearby restaurant quite close to my workplace. I needed some time and space to think and get some fresh air.
Thank God I had no patients with serious or emergent attention.
While taking the glass of warm water, the thought of my mom came flashing back.
All the incidence from when I was young.
How she boldly walked down the streets and left me crying and screaming my life out.
Why did she give birth to me if she never wanted me?
Why did she suddenly have to leave me all by myself to suffer on my own?
Now, what's the purpose for her return? Why is she back?
Does she think I will ever forgive her? No, she must be kidding.

I was so angry already thinking about the whole thing again that I didn't even notice doctor Kelly walking into the restaurant and sitting in the opposite direction.
Hi Dr. Melissa! Hello?
I regain myself at the shout of hello.
Hi Dr. Kelly I responded.
I am sorry I wasn't paying attention.
It's obvious Melissa, is everything okay?
Yes, Dr. Kelly, everything is just fine.

How about the family?
Family? well, I think of Olivia's parents as a family so I quickly responded, they are fine
How about yours? I asked Dr. Kelly.
fine as well, Dr. Melissa.
So what brought you here?
Oh, I wanted to get some fresh air, I will be on my way already.
Take care, Dr. Kelly, see you around.

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I arrived at Olivia's place later that evening and all she kept hammering on was the issue between my mom and me.
She didn't even allow me to state my mission or why I wanted to see her that I put a call through.
She told me she wouldn't listen to me until I decided to forgive my mom and reconcile with her.
With such a condition I knew she was all out for me and wouldn't let me off this time around so I was left with the thought of what to do about my mom's case.

The End!

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I am used to letting my readers decide what later happens or unfold in a story.
More like leaving your own end to the story. Either a happy ending or a sad one.
What do you think guys?

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