Memories Under The Carpet.

Hello everyone, I'd be sharing my thoughts on the loss of people in my life. I'd try to break it down as much as possible. The two top thoughts I have about loss include:

It is Most times Abrupt:

people never see death coming. Except those suffering from terminal ailments and the number of days they have left have been estimated. Yesterday, as everyone was just going through their normal day, many people died. People that didn't even imagine they would die. I lost an acquaintance yesterday. She was returning from a birthday shoot and she got hit by a moving vehicle. Did she expect to die after her birthday photoshoot? No, of course. But it happened.

It is aggravating:

one can measure the pain they feel from loss, especially if it's the loss of a loved one. Most people never get over it entirely because the memories are still printed in your heart.

A teddy from one of the heists

As the saying goes,"you don't know the value of a person until you lose them" and this is very true. Little wonder why people are always shading genuine tears during funerals. Their minds are probably running wild as they imagine all the things they could have done with or for the person.

One of the great losses I've had was when my grandfather passed on. My granddad was many things to me. He was my play-buddy, my advisor, my partner in crime. I remember when he directed me to a room full of toys and told me to pick as many as I could. My mom didn't approve of that but he distracted her till I put the toys in the boot of our car. Mission accomplished✨.

He was a great man but he got very sick. He had kidney failure and had to live the rest of his life wearing adult diapers and with a life auxiliary to help him do the basic things he needed to do everyday. He was a very strong man as he survived for many years.

The day that the life auxiliary called my mom to inform her of his death, my mom broke down but didn't want to tell me why, because it would hurt me too. I was so attached to my grandpa that he used to call me his little wife. His lap was my favourite chair to sit on and just like that he was gone, forever.

No more toy heists, no more weekly Sunday visits, no more plantain, chicken and drinks, no more tales from the olden days. If there was a way to bring him back, I would have.

How did I Mitigate The Feeling of loss?

It was so hard to let go ,but I did it anyway. My mom never visited his house again and so I didn't get to visit the house either. I was quite young and couldn't navigate my way around. Right now, the house is owned by another person.

It was at this point that I buried myself in books. I read every book I came across. I was in highschool and so I never missed out on any class. The stress from school always puts me immediately to sleep, preventing me from having any random thoughts. It kept going on till the fun memories slowly went under the carpet. The memories are not gone, a little trigger can bring them back but the effect won't be as hurtful as it used to be.

a rear picture of him smiling

Whenever I think about it, I hear my mom's voice saying, " his funeral was a celebration of life. He was well in his late eighties and he deserves to rest in peace". I know he's in a better place and that's enough for me.

No one can totally get over the death of a loved one but like they say, "time heals"

This is my entry into the weekend sharing initiative by @galenkp. You can find the post here. @funshee, I bet you have a weekend experience to share.

With love, wongi ✨