What's your definition of a real man?

It's been a while since I indulged in a debate on a particular topic and today one of my heart broken friends came along to make me laugh which inspired my writing.

Her problem was that her man isn't a real man? And I'm like wahhhhh? How? Does it mean he doesn't have a monster or maybe the other way round, she looked at me in an awkward way but truth be told that was the only thing that came to my mind.

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I had to ask her what her definition of a real man was so I could understand her better because we ladies have different tastes of men we call real men. Some women say a man is a real man when he's really good in bed, some say because he's got muscles and a well built body, some say because he's filthy rich etc.

I waited for her response and to my surprise she didn't mention any of the above but rather said he wasn't well brought up. My mouth went wide open and the first thing I asked her was "but you love him" and she said "yes! But love isn't enough".

She needed more and I could see it in her teary eyes, she needed help but it wasn't coming. She just had a child some weeks ago but she's been handling all the chores alone. From feeding the child to cleaning the house, cooking, doing laundry, name them.

I felt her pain, she cried as she narrated her plight and another question was; "didn't you notice all these traits in him before getting married to him"? And she was like I thought he'd change when we eventually had company. That was where I couldn't say anything anymore. I was short of words.

A man that couldn't help from scratch will never help in the future, a man that only knows that his responsibility is to work and bring home money without at least helping with some menial jobs at home to me isn't a real man. No offenses!

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I don't know what other women out there seek in their men but to me, money and love isn't enough, care should be Paramount not pity. Care should be inborn in any man that wants to take up someone's daughter as a wife.

Some men feel house chores aren't for them but for the women. Come to think of it, haven't we tried? We work, we're mother's, wives, chefs, the first aid doctors and many more added to it and a man would wake up one morning to say "all he knows is that he should eat, go to work and bring home the money".

It's not all about giving gifts and many of those expensive things, try making her some coffee in bed, go to YouTube and learn how to bake the least thing as cookies, no matter how influential you are, just give it a try and thank me later.

I was forced to tell my friend the bitter truth which is; she signed up for what is happening in her life and so she has no choice but to sail that boat which she already put in the middle of the sea. The only great advice I had was either she gets a nanny or she suffers alone and keeps collecting money.

The truth is bitter but I had to come out clean and speak my mind.

I don't know your definition of a real man but whatever way you have it, men are supposed to be a back bone whether financially or with house chores.