Tales of the Urban Explorer: The Lost Cabin in the Woods
There was no way in hell I would have found “The Lost Cabin in the Woods" without some direction. It was posted by a somewhat hated prominent Facebook ninja-masked explorer some time ago.
I happen to have a good relationship with him and I knew for a fact he would share if I asked. As I was over in @goblinknackers’ part of the woods (no pun intended), I sourced the location and knew I was probably only the second explorer to see its yield.
On arrival, I knew a walk was going to be required. This one was strange as it was sandwiched between two businesses, yet I could see it was one of those forgotten places, lost in time.... and cobwebs.
Bypassing the extra rusty barbed wire I looked at @goblinknackers and received the same mental telepathic message.
...how the fuck are we going to get past this mass of nettles?...
From our angle, I could see the 'cabin' was long, skinny, and hopefully interconnected.
Our only hope was to thrash at these wild, savage, merciless stinging plants then sneak in at the bottom end and work our way up from the inside.
Looking back at what I snapped that day, I regret not taking more externals. There was more to it than the long cabin.
I guess my thoughts at the time were that the rest was so ugly it was not worth any megabytes of phone space.
After some scrambling, trampling, and wistfully dreaming that it was legal to carry machete's about in the UK, we made it to the lower end of the cabin.
I was trying to figure out who lived here. Did anyone live here, was it a man-cave, was it a business, or maybe just a place to have a wank, read porn and take your lifelike blow-up doll for some fun.
Vintage scales that don't contain kilograms on the weight bar; Avery was famous for them.
Why not get pissed when weighing your goods?
.22 ammunition; air rifles could be bought by anyone once. The .22 was the better, more powerful version at the time.
Land Rover magazines from the mid-nineties, and lots of them. I was starting to form a picture of who hung around in here.
What is that. It looks familiar but I can’t quite place it. Is that a computer port or am I imagining things?
Not a stand for those useless TVs that gave out the worst picture ever. Now that we are all digital and the analogue signal was nationally disconnected around 2009 it is completely useless.
The owner did not like smoke. Was that a personal reminder or was this some kind of business?
Eggs, cooking equipment, tea, plates; did someone live here? I found no beds anywhere. It would have been freezing in the winter and lying on the wooden floor would have resulted in frostbite.
Several cups, so more than one person?
I should have checked the year on that calendar. It was a little spider-web encrusted.
We were almost at the top of the long cabin now and had to move outside into the awaiting nettles all poised and ready to sting us.
I spotted something that looked like CCTV. Surely not?
Wading through and trampling the nettles I approached this strange-looking device intent on scaring off intruders.
What is that; half a pair of binoculars hanging by a rope? Had this Land Rover loving, spirit drinking hermit been some one-eyed part-time security guard?
Walking around the 'security system' we approached another shed-looking building crammed with old junk.
Did he own a Range Rover or simply hoard old parts?
The hermit did own a Land Rover, which was getting old by the time it went out of commission. I checked the plate number and it was taxed until 2011.
By 2004 the Land Rover would have been ten years old. He did take care of it.
113,000 miles in only 8 years. That’s a shit lot of driving. The car was produced in 1994.
People do love to leave all their private shit for all to see. If the Discovery was still parked up somewhere, we could have taken it for a spin.
I sure Jack Daniels produce Whisky, not tins of biscuits?
All these clues painted a picture of whose man-cave this used to belong to.
I figure he was a one-eyed Land Rover freak who fired his .22 Air Rifle at any trespassers who went near the cave while swigging vodka from a bottle.
Would you say my assessment is accurate?
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'Tales of the Urban Explorer'
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