Tales of the Urban Explorer: The Lair of the Giant Spiders
This story doesn’t follow the regular trajectory of my usual content. It was a might-be that I picked up from the usual maps scouring exercises.
"There's something in that corner", I mentioned to @anidiotexplores, sending him the pin via Facebook messenger.
As it wasn’t too far from our schedule and so we added it to the agenda.
On arriving, we walked for a good 400 yards down a grassy path, possibly used for dog-walkers while glowering at a huge fence with spikes atop.
For fuck sake, how much farther before we give up on this one?
The question was silent but pertinent. Many times they do come to nothing, but can surprise you if it’s some undiscovered gem.
.. and then we saw a gate, a gate that was 10 feet high but perfectly climbable.
Note to those who want to keep people out. Don’t use gates like this one. They have handy places for feet and lack those spiky bits on top that cut into your testicles.
Beyond the gate, there was what looked like an old mill or building. We could not be sure.
Climbing over these gates used to be a chore for me, but my body appears to have gotten used to the demands I place on it.
We were both over in seconds, approaching the unknown building and its stash of photogenic booty.
Bypassing the foliage was the major obstacle. The entrance was open, but what was inside. Pig shit or something more interesting?
It was full of old crap alright. Crap of the most boring type ever made. What a load of... crap.
Backpedalling we pursued the undergrowth and found ourselves entering the realms of the Giant Spider.
There was some industrial machinery of sorts in this jungle, but was it worth the effort? Underfoot was getting a little too squelchy for my liking.
No fucking way I am going through there, death awaits for sure.
..or there, the cobweb depth was up to my waist. Can you imagine the size of the arachnoids lurking, just waiting to poison, and then slowly suck the life out me?
Whatever this was once, it did not appear to have any opening anywhere. I don't have a fear of Spiders, but there was something out there ready to eat us. I could feel it.
The tractor has not been used in years. The steering wheel (used for the caption image), gave me a half-decent shot.
Heading back toward the tall gate both of us had noticed a large mansion full of scaffolding. I didn’t even get a shot of it which is disappointing.
"This doesn't feel right at all", @anidiotexlores said with a trace of nerves in his voice.
I had to agree. The grounds were full of old cars but something did not feel right. Was there someone living in there, scaffolding or not?
No sooner had we breached the perimeter and taken a few car shots than a skinny, ageing tall bloke who looked like he hadn't washed in weeks came storming out.
How the fuck did he see us so quickly?
“What the bloody hell do you think you are doing, you better explain yourselves and quickly”
We didn't run and this situation is not new to us. Knowing the past statistics of around 90% success of calming angry mad-looking hippies down, we gave him the usual spiel.
"How did you get inside my fencing", Hippy continued, interrupting and only half-listening to us.
“We climbed over the gate”, replied @anidiotexplores a little too sheepishly.
"YOU DID WHAT?", boomed Hippy now visibly angry and not believing that anyone could possibly mount his impenetrable gate.
I figured I was going to have to intervene at this point. Legging it to the gate was not an option as he would have at least one of us, and why bother when we are simply photographers.
"The cars and the old building adjacent to your house attracted us", I said, "not because we want to steal them, but for their photogenic value"
Hippy stopped in his tracks and at least appeared to listen.
We explained the Urban Exploration scene to him and I could see we were winning him over slowly.
Being invited in for Tea, Biscuits, and a guided tour of his mansion I felt was going a little far but it was progress.
After around ten minutes the atmosphere had improved dramatically but then Hippy started boring us to tears with tales of a nomadic lifestyle, living within nature, never seeing anybody else, and being thoroughly content with his life.
@andiotexplores was now in a standing semi-stupor and I could see the drool dribbling down his chin. Trying to wake him up would make Hippy notice. This had to end and quickly.
"We need to get going, thanks for the nature lesson but we have more explores to visit"
"Oh really.. how thoroughly fascinating.. where are you going next, how were the others you did earlier, do you think I could come along..."
Oh fucking hell.. why did I say that… are we ever going to escape this accursed place and this crazy bastard?
I was coming to terms with the fact of ... maybe it would have been better to be devoured by those Giant Spiders.
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'Tales of the Urban Explorer'
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