Why?

_{Photo by Evan Dennis}

I remember when I first heard the saying that you can only be best friends with someone only after you guys have engaged in a heated argument that probably made you guys not speak to each other for a while. Then I started doing some sort of calculations in my head to remember if I had ever fought with any of my friends in the past.

I remember that I so much believed that saying to the extent where whenever I fought with my friends, I just see it as a step closer to becoming best friends. But then I got older and I heard another one and this one has to do with people in relationship.

According to what I heard, it is healthy for a relationship to have misunderstandings and arguments every now and then. I remember that when I first heard this, I had thought it was trash, but then I started seeing videos from relationships experts saying the same thing, one might even say they were encouraging people to always make sure to fight with their partners every once in a while because it helps strengthen their bond.

Now I honestly thought that was the craziest thing I've heard until I heard about ladies who likes to be beaten by their partners. They tell whoever they're dating that they like getting hit and can't stay with a gentle guy who wouldn't do that. Now I probably wouldn't have believed this if I hadn't dated someone myself who was that messed up.

She would always do things on purpose that she knew pisses me off and would refuse to apologise because she was hoping I would hit her. Trust me when I say it was both scary and crazy and I remember how my friends would laugh at me whenever I told them about what was happening.

To me, I felt she needed help and unfortunately I was in no form to help her so I did the only thing I could do, I ended the relationship. And of course the whole thing didn't end smoothly, she had threatened to do all sort of things to me, things that I had thought were empty threats but turned out not to be.

Luckily for me, I survived and I've learned my lesson and I think I'm done dating people whose mentally is that messed up. I don't need another experience to know that. But one thing I do want to know is why do some people think that way?

Why does fights and arguments strengthen relationships and friendships, why?