When you know you're the only option
I've come to understand that most times, people tend to feel relaxed when they know that they've got multiple options to solving their problems, but when they realize that they're the only option and if they don't help themselves, that problem would end up consuming them, they buckle up and get things done.
I've written about my friend here in the past, the one who has been struggling to make ends meet, how myself and my other friends had come together to try to help him by providing him with some amount of money for a month to see if he could use that time in getting a job and finally get back on his feet.
Well today, we got fed up because we realized that this young man wasn't even ready to help himself. Whenever we came up with possible solutions to help him solve some of his problems (like finding him a job), he would come up with some flimsy excuses why not to go for that job.
At first, none of us said anything to him. We just figured that he was trying to get a better job that was worth his time, but recently we just couldn't take it anymore because things has gotten from bad to worse and yet he's just there, not even lifting a finger to look for solutions.
He says he's trying but the least he does is pick up his phone (he no longer has one) and browse the internet for jobs, he hasn't left home yet to go out there where the jobs are and apply in person. He basically wants the job to come to him and not the other way round.
And what's upsetting about this whole thing is that while he spends his day doing nothing to better his situation, he's depending on us (his friends) to always give him money whenever he needs it.
That wasn't a problem at first and probably wouldn't have been a problem if he was actively looking for solutions to his situation, but knowing that he's not doing that just changed the whole thing.
I remember one comment someone had made on one of my blogs talking about this friend of mine.. They basically had said that the only reason he was that relaxed was because he knows that we would always be there to help him but if we decide to stop helping him, then he would get off his butt and go help himself and to me, that is the honest truth.
Because when you look around you and realize that unless you go work yourself you would have nothing to eat, you would go out there to work by force.
And that is why myself and my other friends have all decided to put a hold on any form of assistance towards him because seeing how we've tried talking to him and it didn't work, maybe doing this would finally get him to do what's right.
It's going to feel sad watching him struggle but as long as it's for the best, then I don't have a problem with it.
The solution you've decided upon is a two-edged sword: he may eventually get off his butt and find a tangible thing to do. Or, he may as well get desperate and go down the dark path to solve his problems.
I understand the fact that he may not be doing enough because you guys made him comfortable. But kicking him to the wolves may be too extreme.
In any case, I'm not in support of a grown man leeching on others to get by. Let him start somewhere for stability and then upgrade.
I hope the dude is not married with kids else it will be worse.
I've thought of this too, even mentioned it to the other guys but they said they don't care anymore because they've gotten fed up.. He's a grown man and will eventually do whatever he wants to do were their exact words.
Let's just hope he chooses the right path..and nope, he's not married and has no kids.
I am guessing that I have said it or similar things 😅 to you in that post. Whatever, sometimes you need to be strict to bring your friend in the track. Let's hope for the best.
Yeah I think you were the one who made that comment 😅