When the No means Yes

_{Photo by Florian Schmetz}

When we talk about consent, it used to be a not-so-important conversation back in the day, not because we all felt consent wasn't important but because you would hardly hear anyone talk about someone doing anything to them without their consent, except for actual rapists.

But then we started to watch the news and we all saw how messed up ones life can get if they do things without consent. At least the foreign countries do take it seriously, I really can't say much for mine. Personally, I'm huge on consent in almost everything and I believe that when a lady says no then it's a no, but unfortunately some of the ladies over here are as confusing than anything you can think of.

About some few days ago, my friend was complaining to me and some other friends about how a lady friend who had visited him the other day had gone home and called him a weakling because he tried to be gentle. According to my friend, he had tried kissing this lady when she was over at his place and she had said no, so he stopped and didn't try to do anything until she left his place.

To him, he was obeying her wish and was trying to be a gentleman but apparently, the lady had wanted him to kiss her but had said no the first time because she didn't want to look "cheap" while hoping that he would try again and again until she eventually gives in.

Now this wasn't the first time something like this was happening to most of us, so we had asked the lady with us while they girls behave that way, and of course she had nothing new to say aside from the usual "we don't want you to feel we're cheap" story which we all said was bullshit.

The past couple of years when we read about some cases on twitter that had to do with consent, some of the excuses the guys are always giving is that they thought the lady's no wasn't a no and was in fact a yes because they've all had similar experiences in the past and I seriously can't say it's a lie.

It's a crazy and confusing thing to be honest and most guys who prefer going by the words of the lady (like my friend did) end up regretting it when the lady say to them that if they had pushed a little bit harder, that they would had said yes to them. And then when that same guy happen to be in that same situation with a different lady, he tends to push harder and probably even force himself on her because to him, she wants it and she's only saying no because she doesn't want to look cheap.

But then he gets arrested and locked up and then he spend years in prison just because some lady somewhere told him that no actually meant yes.