What exactly is insecurities?

_{Photo by Nate Neelson}

Late last night, sometime around 1am in the morning, I was in bed finding it difficult to sleep when I overheard my neighbour having some sort of argument with his girlfriend. They were trying their best to keep their voices down but we tend to lose control over our voices when we're talking about emotional things like infidelity and one of the advantages (and disadvantages) of living in an hostel like mine is that your neighbours tend to hear everything happening in your room (and I mean everything) when it's late at night and everywhere is super quiet, unless you're really really quiet.

And due to the fact that I was finding it difficult to sleep, I decided to stay awake and be the "walls that has ears" in this situation.

Now based on the little that I overheard, I'm going to give you guys a little story of how I understood the whole situation. It turns out that the boyfriend has been suspicious about his girlfriend for some time now, I'm not sure why but it seems like she has been behaving strangely of late and probably has been making certain movements that clearly is unlike her.

And due to all of this things, he had approached her and talked to her about his suspicion, hoping that maybe she would open up to him and they would find a way to fix it, but as expected, she had told him that she wasn't doing anything wrong and it was all in his head, an explanation that he had accepted, probably because he too wasn't sure of his interpretation of her behaviour.

But it seems like things got worse because last night, the one thing that I could tell was causing problems between the both of them was that the boyfriend wanted to go through his girlfriend's phone but she had refused, saying that he was acting this way because he doesn't trust her and was insecure.

And now here comes my question, what exactly do we mean when we say someone is being insecure? Because if your partner happens to have doubt about your loyalty towards them and your relationship, shouldn't the right thing for you to do is to reassure them by showing them that thing that would make them believe that truly, nothing shady is happening outside the relationship..that thing in this case being her phone.

Anyways, she had refused handing her phone over to him and had began raising her voice, drawing the attention of everyone else towards their room, and that was when he stopped asking. Because she knew he was the kind of guy who loved to keep his private business private, she had used that against him and that had been the end of their conversation that night.

I won't be surprised if she hands him the phone the next morning for him to go through it, because she probably would have erased any evidence of foul play on her side.

If you ask me, he doesn't need to go through her phone anymore to come to any conclusion, because all of what I overheard that night was more than enough signs for me to know that the girlfriend is indeed hiding something, something that has the potential of ruining that relationship.