Walk Away
First of all, I don't think I've ever been in any toxic relationship with anyone (or maybe I have, I just didn't see it as that) but I've seen people in toxic relationships and the question that always crosses my mind is why do they always choose to stay.
One thing I've come to realize especially in a sexual relationship is that, most times people endure staying with a toxic partner because they're always looking at the "bigger picture".
But before I go any further, I will like to put it out there that I'm speaking based on things I see happening around me in my country and I also will be focusing on toxicity towards women as that is what I've witnessed the most myself.
Over here most people (especially ladies) see marriages as a big deal, so whenever they start getting towards the age of 30,they start to panic and want to get married quick because to them, 30 is old. So unfortunately, with this kind of mentality, most of them tend to tolerate anything their partners throws at them, because all they're thinking about is to get married, so maybe if they tolerate it long enough, he just might someday pop the big question and ask her to marry him.
Unfortunately not all of them gets to last that long as some ends up getting bruised for life, if not worse.
For some of them, it ends up working for them. The guy finally agrees to marry them but the sad truth is that it doesn't always ends there, doest it? The whole thing that happened before the marriage, continues.
I know a lady that was always fighting with her husband back in the day. Whenever they fought, she would always make sure to break something, maybe like the television before running out to come sit at my mom's shop. And then she'd start to complain to my mom while also bragging about the things she broke.
My mom will always try to be neutral while trying to talk some sense into her, but the same thing always repeats itself after a few months. You guys would ask that why didn't she divorce him or why didn't he do it, unfortunately over here in Africa, people aren't always quick to want to divorce like they do in the western world, simply because you could get shamed for it, so getting a divorce is always a lady resort.
The last time I heard about the lady, I was told that she had died. What was the cause of her death? I have no idea. I didn't bother to ask, I just felt sad about the whole thing. I guess people just have to realize that it's never too late to walk away, be it a man or a woman, if your partner is toxic, walk away. It might be hard at first but trust me when I say you will look back many years from now and thank yourself that you did.
May her soul rest in peace. Breaking things because you are fighting with your spouse is not a good thing. Is that thing bought with paper? It's really a bad idea. Like you said, divorcing in this part of the country makes people look at one as unfortunate being. Nice write up
Thank you for reading.
Of course you are right, here in Pakistan the same thing happens, Divorce is considered very bad, due to which girls also tolerate beatings by their husbands and try hard to get them. His house should not be damaged, and those who are with him are also very cruel to him, and when he is completely tired, he begins to cry. Because here in Pakistan, the girl is told that it is your house now and you should not return from there and you have to serve your husband and his family, but I have to say here that the respect It is the right of every servant, it should be left.
Girls shouldn't be shamed when they choose to leave their marriage, especially due to domestic abuse.
Yeah
I don't pray for that kind of relationship for me or any of my loved ones in Jesus name.
What you said is true about women approaching 30 and panicking. I don't think that their fear is unfounded though because by thirty, our biological clock is ticking and the older we get, the more risky it becomes to get pregnant. I think that's a factor as to why we usually prefer to settle down early.
But then, it's a shame that relationships like these are becoming a norm in Nigeria. Marriage is meant to be peaceful. But what we have seen in society is so discouraging.
Oh well, I just pray that we get it right the first time and meet someone that will give us nothing but peace.
I enjoyed reading this. Well done 🌹
True, but that isn't enough reason for you to settle for anyone no matter how you're being treated.