This or That

You know how everything basically has an advantage and disadvantage, that sucks sometimes because you can find yourself in a situation like mine, where you want something but you also don't want it because of the other side of that thing that you just don't like.

And not to sound too deep or anything like that, but lately I've been getting triggered by a lot of stuff. It's almost like it's that time of the month for me where everything anyone does is either too annoying or too exciting for me. It's almost as if I currently don't have any control over my emotions right now and it sucks.

Last night, I was in one of those moods where I wanted to be in the presence of someone because I was feeling lonely. Unfortunately, I had no one to call and just had to force myself to go to bed, hoping that I wouldn't feel the same way when I wake up in the morning.

Now to me, that is one of the disadvantages of living alone in a place like this, because some of my friends do have roommates who they get to talk to and laugh with late at night whenever everyone is indoors and minding their business. Unfortunately, I stay alone and don't get to enjoy that luxury.

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photo by Alexander Possingham

But fast forward to tonight and it was a different emotion all together, this time I just wanted to be alone, all by myself with no one around. Funny enough, a friend had texted me, telling me that they wanted to quickly stop by to say hi and I had refused, I had told them that I was busy with work and wouldn't have time to interact with them.

It's funny how I found myself rejecting what I was desperately in need of just the previous day, but you see, that's the advantage of living alone, you get to have that much needed quiet time whenever you want, and you don't have to force yourself to talk to someone just because you both live in the same apartment.

It's crazy how my mood has been swinging lately and I honestly hope it doesn't continue like this because it is frustrating and not exactly a good way to live life.



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5 comments
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To me, staying alone can be so scary.. lolz. There are moments I crave to just be alone without anyone but personally, I really prefer leaving with people because what if anything happens to me at night and no one to rescue my soul? That's the part that makes me to realize the importance of people around me but whenever I need privacy..I try to create it

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I actually enjoy staying alone but with occasionally visits from friends... And I know this because there are days when my friends do come by, and I find myself just thinking about the quiet and peace I would have the moment they leave.

That doesn't mean I don't enjoy their presence, I just don't like too much of it.

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Hehe. I can understand your situation. Sometimes trying to talk with someone is very natural but I always have some people who are always interested to talk with me for a long time.

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Sometimes our feelings are confused by nothing, sometimes for lack of something we do not know, I hope it will soon improve.

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I hope so too because this uncertainty is driving me crazy.

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