The question and the lesson learnt
When I first gained admission into the school, one tidious process I didn't have to go through was house hunting and this was because my brother was already a student of the same school, so it was only normal for me to move in with him, which was what I did. I had moved in with him with plans to move out the next year which was also my brothers graduation year but as things turned out, I didn't move out and ended up staying at the same hotel throughout my four years in school.
I remember during my first year there, there was this guy who also stayed at the hostel but had to move out during his second year and whenever I posted pictures of myself at my hostel, he would always come into my dm asking me if I was still living in that same old place. He called it old because he had moved away and had expected everyone who was there the time he was there to have moved away also.
And I remember that whenever he asked those questions, I would try to come up with excuses as to why I still was living there, even though I didn't have to. His statement always made me feel some kind of way that always triggered my defense mechanism and then I try to defend myself (although there was nothing to defend) in other not to make him laugh at me.
But then one day I had sat outside and asked myself the same question that guy would always ask me, why was I still living at the same hostel? I knew for a fact that it wasn't because of the infrastructure because that wasn't the best building around, neither was it because of the security or basic amenities in the hostel. But then it didn't take too long for me to find my answer, it was the people living in it.
Compared to other hostels that I have visited, the people here are welcoming and they make you look forward to coming home after a long stressful day at school. The moment I got that answer, it was as if a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders becacuse I hated the way that question always made me feel whenever I was being asked.
But then, that experience had taught me two things, the first being that it doesn't always matter how things look at the outside, you could go inside and see something entirely different, something beautiful and another lesson I learnt was that I shouldn't allow people's personal opinion on things have control on me emotionally.
Very interesting. I love how you highlighted your concerns so well, most people who have hidden it away. I have found in my experience that people are very different from each other, even within same community, friend circle, or family. Trying to work out why? for a certain question remark or behavior is a guaranteed way for high stress path to negativity for me. Rather I take most things literally now. And if required i ask shamelessly. Not easy to do and even i am just learning it. Buy it empties my mental bandwidth when i am not trying to think for everyone who interacts with me. Of course my cynical mind still exists, it is just that i keep trying to mute it out.
I like how you are able to be so clear about your thoughts mate. It is a great skill. Keep it up.
Indeed physical object isn't the thing which bind you there. The interaction between people is the thing which bind you and for that you don't want to depart from there.
I hope from the next time you can give the guy the real answer. 🙂.
Yes boss you shouldn't allow anyone's opinion control your emotions.
You should do more of what makes your happy and what you find okay for you and not the other way round.
And so happy you found a reason to what to stay back because it really matters to have people who makes you happy and comfortable around you and not people that stress you out and give you more reasons to what to leave your hostel.
You've got an amazing content here boss and I look up to see more of it soonest boss 🙌.
I am wondering why he kept repeating that same question over and over again. I believe life is a choice, every one is entitled to Their own decision...so I love the lesson you learned and the answer you constructed so nicely. Btw, I love nice and welcoming people around me ...so you are good where you live regardless of the structure of the building.