The New Kid
If there's one thing I probably never look forward to, it is going to somewhere new where everyone else knows each other and I'm just the new kid there. Unfortunately when growing up, one of the things that just sort of places me in such situation was changing schools.
Luckily for me, I only changed school twice. I remember how it was the first time I had to go to a new school, I felt completely out of place and though no one was looking at me, it felt like they all were and as usual, it took sometime to get used to it and make friends but I did (even though I don't exactly remember all of the details) but I ended up fitting in and making a lot of friends and I no longer felt like the odd one.
But the second school change felt a lot worse than the first because the first one had happened when I was a kid but the second one was when I was grown. I remember the reason I had changed schools was because my current school at the time wasn't among the schools in the West African Examination Council (WAEC) And what that meant was that my school wasn't qualified to organise the exams, so I had to move over to a school which was qualified.
And unlike my previous experience, this one was completely different. Everyone in this school (including myself) was grown and matured and I really felt out of place but just like most things, all I needed was time to fit in and it didn't take long for me to make friends and feel like I belonged there.
And you know, that's the funny thing. The fact that I know that all it takes is time for me to make friend and be one of them, and yet I still try all my possible best to not even be in that position where I'm the new kid, it's crazy. If you ask me, I honestly think that it's a phobia that I really haven't gotten rid off and now it affects me in different aspects of my life.
Because even though it's been a few years since high school, I still can't find myself going to new places myself. This used to be a little problem for me but now it's seriously becoming not so little. Whenever I find myself going to a place I haven't been to, I always ask a friend to tag along and this isn't because I feel lonely, but because I get this inner fear when it's just me and need someone to be there with me in other to help boost my confidence.
This is really becoming a problem for me and what's worse is that I don't know how to get over it. But hopefully, time will also help here and maybe, just maybe, I will learn to go to new places myself and stop being scared of being the new kid.
You need to get rid of that thought about being the new kid,the inner fear, with time you might even get over it naturally.
I used to be worried about myself because I don't like feeling lonely when in new places, most times, it's because I don't know how to make friends within a short period of time. It can take me months to make a friend, but gradually, I made myself go out to meet new people and try to engage in short conversations and with time I got better (though, I'm still a little bit slow at making new friends)
I think that exactly is my problem, making friends in a place where everyone else is friends with themselves except me. It harder for me.
Yeah, I can relate to this, it is hard when they are friends of themselves.
I also feel insecure in new environments and to make it worst, I hardly get used to people. We are wired differently, it's normal to be you. Our bodies also recognize new environments, trust me if all those individuals you meet in new places are also new in the place, they would also act like you. I think it something that always accompanies being new in a place.
One can't really come to a place the first time and just be free that very moment, though some individuals are like that but most people are not, especially introverts.
So it's normal, but if you feel you don't like it that trait, then work on yourself, we have the ability to build any trait we desire anytime, should a need arise. You can start by going to new places alone, without tagging your friend along, try as much as possible to interact with people freely at your first meeting even if you feel uncomfortable. Just open up and welcome the place and it will welcome you to
Wow I actually think this might work, going to places alone might actually do the trick.. I just have to really push myself.
Yes sir, give it a try
Lol
I guess you are a shy type. There is actually nothing bad in visiting new places. Well, it is normal to be shy but I'm so lucky to take that away from me almost immediately I enter the new place. I know how to socialize with others.
Well, it is never too late to overcome that fear
I think it has more to do with not getting embarrassed than being shy. I would socialize with you if you start the conversation, I just won't start it.
In my case I changed 5 School in 11 years of school life. Going to new school I need to face difficulties to adapt with the situation with new faces and new classmates. Beginning time always the struggling for me.
5 schools in eleven years? Wow that's a lot. It must have been hard at first but I'm sure you probably got used to it at some point.
I think we get used to the situation with time and it's natural. So you guessed right and it helped me also to adapt fast in a new environment.