The First Time


There something about family meetings that I absolutely hate and it’s the fact that I don’t know what is about to be discussed in the meeting. Whenever my dad calls for a family meeting, I’m always trying to guess what he’s about to say, if anyone of us had gotten into trouble.

But the truth about our family meeting is that that’s when I learn the most from my dad. That’s when he gets to talk to us as men (we’re four boys by the way) and tell us things that a father should tell his children.

I remember one time we had one of those meetings and what my dad had said to us, something that I’ve come to apply in my everyday life and has saved me from a lot of unwanted situations.

He had told us never to start anything in life in a way and manner that we don’t plan to continue. For instance, let’s say you find yourself in a new relationship and you and your partner live together. And for some reason, probably because you’re in love, you decide within yourself to start washing the dishes while hoping to share the chores in the future. There’s every possibility that when that time comes for you guys to share the dish washing, your partner might be reluctant to corporate and that is because he or she now feels like it’s your job and you should be the one doing it like you’ve been doing.

I used the dish washing example because it seems like the easiest for me to use but this same principle applies to the way we interact with people we’re meeting for the very first time. The things we do in front of them the first few times we meet them will determine how they treat us for the duration of that friendship unless we finally set things straight.

It’s just like the saying “first impression matters” because your first impression is what people will think of you. So if you act like a respectable dude the first time someone meets you, there’s a huge possibility you will be respected by that person the next time you guys meet.

I guess this is why some girls act so cool and calm on first dates so as not to chase away their dates and then when they finally gets comfortable and they’re no longer strangers, they bring out the madness in them. Guys do the same thing by the way, only few will be real with you the first time and it’s probably because they don’t care what anyone thinks and enjoy being themselves.

It’s a good thing as long as being yourself isn’t a bad thing.

Photo by Josh Calabrese