The Evasion Game
Recently, I've been trying to control myself in a way where I don't allow certain words that people say affect me, especially when I know for a fact that what they're saying isn't true. But sometimes, there's always one or two things that I hear that I just can't shake off or ignore, so I find myself thinking about it over and over again. Today, I've brought one of those things to you guys.
Earlier this year, while a meeting was being held on who the next president at my hostel should be, the caretaker had suggested putting me in the position, but I had quickly rejected it and had asked for another position instead, one that wouldn't require me to interact directly with the other occupants at the hostel and I had my reasons.
You see, I've always had a very simple understanding when it comes to avoiding problems or quarrel. I believe that if I don't talk to you, then we both wouldn't have a reason to be enemies, or at least it reduces the chances of any of us getting pissed off at one another because I believe a huge part of misunderstanding happens when you and someone exchange words. So if we don't interact, there would be no need to exchange anything.
I have always believed in that and it has always worked for me, helping me keep my peace and not having any form of trouble with anyone. Unfortunately, not everyone sees things my way, my caretaker for example thinks I'm taking the cowardly way out.
He always complains everytime they try to give me more responsibility and I turn it now. To him, he believes I'm only running away from responsibilities, something a real man shouldn't do. Now, although I do not think that is true, I would like to hear what you people have to say on the issue.
Is my method a good one (even though it has proven to be very effective), or is this me just lying to myself about avoiding troubles, when in reality the only thing I'm avoiding is responsibilities.
My oga at the top, I greet you sir. Your wisdom of trying to avoid trouble by interacting less is ok but sometimes people don’t see it as such and I believe he believes in you and hence feels you can handle that position of which I believe you can too. When we try to shy away so much like you have been doing even though for a good course, it will bring about this kind of situation with your caretaker and you won’t blame him much Because he has probably seen you do it again and again. Leadership always has its pros and cons and you can’t run away from facing some situations that would obviously arise someday.
I also believe in lying low and being at the background but sometimes I just have to take the bull by the horn and arise to some responsibilities even when I don’t feel like it because of the people who are counting on me. You can do this sir and I also believe you have the wisdom to navigate your way through any challenges that may come up with anyone during the course of you handling the responsibility of the hostel president. If we keep avoiding responsibility because we don’t want to have issues with people, for how long and how far? Some people will still have issues with you regardless.
The thing is, I don't really think I'm this way simply because I just want to avoid responsibilities. You should know that there are certain people who prefer to work behind the scene, people who would choose being the kingmaker, rather than the king himself.
And while I do enjoy being in the spotlight every now and then, I've come to realize that I don't always want to be in it, which is what will happen if I do accept the position.
I still offer my assistance every now and then, I do still have a role at the hostel (just not one as powerful as the one that was initially offered to me) and I enjoy this role...which to me is the most important thing in this case. I believe that as long as I enjoy what I do, I will keep on giving it my best, especially in a situation like this where I'm not even being paid.
But then again, I do see your points and I agree with some of it. I get how me saying no could be seen as a weakness even though it's not.
I totally understand sir…maybe that’s how you are wired
I also think that avoiding some situation and position help us to stay far from conflicts. I think your method is quite useful as I also get rid of many trouble by following the method.
It is one of the most effective methods that I know, and has been working for me ever since I can remember. To me, I don't see it as avoiding responsibilities, rather, I'm avoiding unnecessary problems.