Superman Driver


Photo by Ryan Porter

The country’s election is drawing closer (next year) and it’s that time when we’re asked to go register for our permanent voters card also known as PVC in other for us to be able to vote next year. Normally, I wouldn’t be that concerned about getting my PVC because the whole process can be hectic and it’s not like I have any plans of voting (elections around here can be very chaotic and bloody).

But on my way home from school last week, I walked past a place where they were registering people for the PVC for free and I decided to register because they weren’t much crowd there besides, I’ve always wanted a PVC because some crypto websites accept it for KYC. Another reason why I had decided to register was because among the people doing the registration, one of them was my lecturer who knew me so he quickly attended to me and I left.

Unfortunately, that registering was only the first step to getting the PVC. I was asked to go somewhere a week later (which was today) to go complete the process and possibly take my card. So, I got up today and got dressed. I left my home some time around 10:57am because I was scheduled to be at the place by 12:30pm and I just wasn’t sure how bad traffic would be so I decided to leave a bit early and wait for them if that was the case.

Now when I leave my home to go somewhere a bit far as this, I always leave my phone at home not for fear of it being stolen, but for fear of being stopped and searched by the police. The truth is that I have nothing incriminating on my phone except for the Binance app and some other crypto related apps which apparently are like contrabands to this law enforcement officers. The central bank of Nigeria is currently waging a war against crypto users and the police has seen that as an opportunity to empty any wallet that they see in anyone’s phone.

But unlike myself, I decided to go with my phone for two reasons. One of the reasons is that I had no idea if I would be asked to access the internet on my phone in other to complete the PVC registration process because my phones internet was used during the first registration and the second reason which happened to be the most important reason had been because of sweatcoin. Sweatcoin is a crypto app that rewards you with its coin every time you walk with your phone. It literally counts your footstep. So you see, I had to go with my phone.

Anyways, we (I went with a friend) were halfway through the journey when we noticed that some group of policemen were doing a stop and search up ahead. One look at them and it was obvious that they were only interested in the young men sitting in the bus. I was beginning to get tensed up and was trying to cross check if I had hidden all of my crypto apps properly when our driver suddenly did one of those cool moves that they only do in the movies, avoiding the police and just drove past them.

Photo by ev

The driver started laughing and then he said something that made me feel like he just read my mind, he said “Won’t you guys thank me, those guys would have searched your phones”.

I was about to say thank you when the guys who I had no idea were behind me said thank you. I turned back to look at where the voices came from and that was when I saw their phones, one of them was just about to delete his Binance app.