Spending On Ourselves
I have this friend who I thinks needs my help, although he doesn't know it yet.
Photo by Artificial Photography
Has anyone ever been in a situation where they kinda find it hard to spend on themselves? Well, my friend does.
About two weeks ago, a close friend of mine had told me about his intentions to travel down to his village to go spend the holidays. We had initially had plans to both remain at the hostel, going to different places to have fun for the holidays but he's only human, which means just like every other person, he had changed his mind, packed his bag and left.
But before he traveled, he had complained to me about the fact that he didn't have any good clothes to take to the village, not even one to travel with. The clothes he had were only good enough for him to stay home with them and not travel to a place where he hasn't been seen for the past twelve months. First impression matters and he knew that showing up to his village in old clothes would automatically give them the idea that the year had been rough for him and that was something he didn't want to happen because it wasn't exactly the truth.
The year has been rough, true, but not that rough for him not to get good clothes for himself every now and then, he just has a big problem spending money on himself, especially to buy clothes. I don't know why but for some reason he feels like buying new clothes are a waste of money and that really isn't the crazy part because to me, the crazy part is that whenever he's broke and we walk pass this particular lady's shop where they sell clothes, he does a lot of window shopping, promising himself to come back to get those clothes but the moment he gets some money, his cancels those plans.
I've tried countless times reminding him about his promises to get himself new clothes each time I notice he has some money on him, I had even asked him to walk with me to the shop so that I could get some for myself, hoping that him seeing me get some would push (or motivate) him to get some for himself but nope, it never works. And it's sad because although he doesn't go out often, whenever we do plan on going out, I either have to give him some of my clothes to wear or he has to dig really deep into his bag to get something nice to wear.
This would have been a different case if he was broke and couldn't afford getting new clothes, but that isn't the case here, I feel he's just being greedy to himself, which is crazy because unless we have certain responsibilities taking all our money away from us, the one person who should be the primary user of every penny we make should be ourselves.
I've been like your friend too and that's because all my life most of the things I have were given to me by someone and I think I was already use to the fact that someone will give me some new clothes soon.
Well that has changed now but I wonder when your friend will see the need to change 😂.
Happy new year 🥰
I think that might be the problem, the fact that he's used to getting things like that from people.. That might just be it.
Happy new year to you too dear 🙂
Yeah, it's very easy for one to feel easily entitled 🙂
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Funny 😂😂
We hope that his eyes opens soon😂
Hmm,why do I feel like you are that friend of Prayzz? I really hope not 😂
I'm not
But can't really say at the same time too duh😂😂
Just pulling your legs 😂 I'm not the victim 😂
Hahaha, well I already found out you are not the one immediately I asked the question but just wanted you to respond anyways, lol
Smiles 😂🤭
Like your vibe and energy duh 😂❤️
I'm happy you do, I guess the feeling is mutual 😉
It really is😊❤️
Yeah. I see you haven't shared any post recently, I guess you've been busy
Yes
But I'm working on that though 😊
Thank you ❤️
Okay! And I'm looking forward to it 😊
Okay boss lady 😊❤️
Thanks for checking up though ❤️❤️❤️
Don't be like that, I'm not a boss lady 😂.
It's my pleasure checking on you, I guess your work offline is really taking your time 🙃
I'd be like that my boss😂
Thank u so much❤️
It's a pleasure ❤️
Something like that
Not really work though
Just been alittle bit sick lately and it really sucked me kind of that I barely come web that much
Seriously! You've not been fine and I only got to know now (is not as if there is something I could do though🙃).
How are you feeling now? Hope you've taken medications?
Smiles
So sorry about that
Would have informed you earlier ( you could have done something if you were aware😂❤️)
I'm better thank you ❤️
Yeah sure, thank you so much ❤️
I see you like being grateful, I like that 🥰
Yes my boss 😊❤️
Thank u boss lady 😊
You're welcome sir 🥰
Thanks my boss
You're welcome chairman 😂
Wish we could like even talk,Chat and also get to know each other better outside hive🥲
That's possible, are you on discord?
Yes I am
Okay, are you on any server
Yes my boss
Hmm,this boss thingy 🌚
Okay, I'd try to look for you 😉
😂okay
Yeah, I guess you found me first 😂
Here's a link to my discord just message me
https://discord.com/invite/Bj4HUxSn
Okay
I was giving him some benefits of doubt until I read the post till the end. I think he really needs your help indeed. You will probably have to sit him down and talk some sense into him. Maybe he feels like he would be spending lavishly if he does that, or because he doesn’t know the next time he will see money. At the same time, even if it’s one at a time, I’m sure it would not hurt his pocket too much. I really hope he gets to see things from your point of view and be a person that takes correction.
I have tried talking to him, even using the quote "you don't have to change the whole of your wardrope in a day, it's one cloth at a time" and yet nothing has changed.
I stopped talking to him about it when the whole thing was starting to cause an issue between the both of us.
Now, that’s really serious. I guess you can only hope he gets to realize himself and actually make some changes.
😂😂😂
Just pray so
Cause some people would pick a fight with you for say that to them.
Some would just feel you're tryna push lead them into a wrong part.
Like I don't really get why it should be a problem for you to look good for your own self again😂😂
People can be really funny atimes though 😂
Or maybe because his friend is always helping him with clothes atimes
Maybe @prayzz you should leave him stranded someday. Maybe that would bring that his senses😂
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That's interesting.....
I am not sure what exactly the reason may be but I have seen similar behaviors occuring in my surroundings.
It so happens that people have other people/sources to depend on . They are sure to get the needful whenever there is a need. So they feel it useless to spend on those things
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And that is sad and crazy and might be true.. Maybe because he knows that I would always come through for him whenever he needs to get to a place quickly and needs some good peer of clothes, maybe that's why he has refused to get himself any.
Interesting is the thing that such oeople always find someone to rely on
I think sometimes we need to spend some money on ourselves. Your friend may be a lazy one like me who doesn't love to go for shopping to buy anything and I also do the same thing. In my case, my parents buy some clothes when they visit any shopping malls. I am lazy in this case because my parents bring those things for me which suit me well also otherwise I might go for shopping.
I honestly don't think his has to do with laziness.. I mentioned that he also goes with me to get clothes for myself.. If it was laziness, he wouldn't go with me.. I just feel that he sees spending money on things like that as a waste of money.
Hmm. That can be. In my case it's laziness 😅.
In my case it has a lot to do with the culture I am from in India. The tendency here is think of family and community rather than yourself. So there is a bit of a stigma in the older generation if people spend on themselves and you will see a lot of cases in middle class where parents will give the very best to their kids but economize on themselves. Also since the income for most middle class of the older generation was through labor or office work there was not a big ROI when it came to looks. The situation is changing and now people are more aware of importance of looks and how one carries oneself but some of us like me still feel guilty spending money on themselves, and would rather spend it on their spouse, parents or children. Luckily as i said things are changing and the younger generation are more aware and smart about these.
It is understandable when we deprive ourselves of some things just to take care of our love ones, that really isn't the case here though. The only person he has to take care of in this case is himself and that is the one thing he's not doing.
Quiet Funny of him though 😂,but can't really blame him though cause,I just feel we all have different priority of how we want to spend our money.
Which can be most of the times funny cause,I remember then very well having a friend would can spend his life savings on food 😂😂
This particular guy can Trek miles of journey just to save the money to buy food 😂 which made me look at him as a very wired person.
Not untill I realized that we all have different priority.
And since then,I just don't really get moved with whatever thing anyone cares to do with there money.