Not knowing How To Hold On
They say everyone you meet is in your life for a purpose, a reason, some will stay and some will leave after completing their purpose.
I've always been someone who's big on making friends but I soon realized that the more friends I make, the more heartbroken I get because people come and people go and unfortunately, I'm not the kind of guy that takes it so well when they leave.
I remember right after my first year in school, there was this girl I was just starting to get close to. Her name was Natasha and based on the way we bonded, I could tell that it was going to be a long lasting friendship, one that would still grow stronger even after we leave the four walls of this institution. Unfortunately, before the bonds could grow even stronger, Natasha informed me that she had applied for a different course in a different school, one very far away and that she had been accepted.
I was happy for her but I was sad that this was going to be the end to a friendship that I had thought would last forever. And I had made my feelings known to her, I had told her that I would miss her and we both had promised to keep in touch. Now I know that her moving away doesn't exactly means that the friendship was over, but it meant so for me because I happen to be the kind of guy who only bonds with people I see and talk to face to face. Social media or phone calls don't work that well for me.
So right after she left, we had spoken about two or three times on the phone and that was it, we never spoke anymore and I remember not feeling too good about it but I didn't try to text or call anymore because I knew that the fault wasn't with her but with me. Because I knew that even if she had called everyday, I still won't reciprocate the gesture and the whole thing would just die a natural death, again.
So yeah, I have a problem and that problem is that even though I love to make friends, I don't know how to keep them, especially if life separates us and this is one of the reasons why I've got no one from high school that I'm still close with today, even though I had really close friends back then. The good thing though about this problem is that I know I have a problem and I'm trying to solve it.
About a month ago, I remember coming clean to someone, telling them about how I feel we were falling apart but didn't want us to. I told them that I would love for us to be close friends for years to come and they had appreciated my honesty and had promised to help make the friendship work.
The last time we spoke was about two weeks ago and from what I can tell, the friendship is over. It's sad really, knowing that everyone in my life is probably there for a short period of time just because of this one problem. So what do you guys suggest I do, what is even the cause of a problem like this to begin with?
I can relate, there are some people who can't nurture relationship from a distance. Nurturing relationship from afar is not easy as we all get busy and forget to call or even text on a daily basis. But if we are intentional about it like setting reminders to call our love ones or writing down their names where we will be seeing it everyday then it will strike a reminder in us that we need to keep in touch.
I don't think I forget to call or text, I just get bored somewhere along the line and no longer feel like texting or calling.. And even if they do decide to do the calling or texting, I feel reluctant to reply.. I'm big on physical contact, so anything aside from that gets boring for me.