Motivate Yourself

Today was one of those days where I spent the whole of the day inside. I had woken up this morning feeling a bit sick, so I remained on my bed and didn't get anything to eat until it was past 4pm in the evening. Unfortunately for me, I had no one to call or ask for help because I stay alone and most of the guys had either gone to school or work.

Although I later found the strength to go downstairs to get something to eat...I probably wouldn't have eaten anything if it wasn't for the fact that I had to force myself because I know how important it is to have food in your stomach during times like this.. And no, I didn't get any drugs.

Anyways, while I was inside, I started to have that talk with myself again, that talk you have when you've got nothing to do but don't wanna feel bored, so you just have a conversation with the only person you can talk to at that moment, which is yourself.

_{photo by sydney Rae}

But instead of just talking, I started to ask myself questions, questions like why I never tend to finish most of the things I start, important things that I know that if I do finish them, my life would be a lot better than it currently is now.. The answer to that question came rather quickly.

You see, while I like to just simply say that it's all due to my laziness (which is also true), I've come to realize that I'm this kinda guy who likes to be constantly motivated and the only way I get motivated is by doing that particular thing with someone else.

A good example is me wanting to go to the gym for as long as I can remember now. But each time I make up my mind to go register, I change my mind because it's just me going to register and none of my friends are registering with me.

You might be wondering why I need my friends to register too (and this isn't because I want the best for them by making them go to the gym), but because I know myself, I know I need someone to wake me up in the morning so that I could prepare for the gym, I need someone to make me go to the gym even on days where I don't feel like going, because the moment I miss one day, I'm missing all of the days next.

And yes, I know this is a very messed up way of living one's life as all the motivation we should ever need should be from us and not from other people because no one other than ourselves is one hundred percent reliable. I know all that, but this is just me being honest and telling you guys what I feel the problem is with me.

I guess I just have to spend some more time trying to find that motivation inside of me because I'm all I've got.