Marriage of our generation and it's importance
Now before anyone come for my head, I'd like to first put it out there that this post won't be me talking bad about the idea of getting married but instead telling you guys what I think about the idea of getting married and how that idea has slowly changed during the years.
I grew up in a family where both my parents both loved each other unconditionally. My parents were old school lovers and I could swear that throughout their years of marriage, I had only seen them kiss just one, even then my mom was trying to be discreet about it but my sharp tiny little eyes had caught on to it. So my parents weren't big on PDA (public display of affection) but I and my siblings knew they loved each other.
And as a child, whenever I thought about marriage, the first image that always popped up in my head was that of my parents because they were almost like the perfect couple for me. I said almost because they were times they had their little arguments and all that but I never saw them fight.
Anyways, they made marriage look like something that anyone would want to have, and coupled with the fact that as someone from Africa (Nigeria to be precise), we all are wired with the mentality that as a man, there are three certain things in life for you to do, school, job and marriage and they mostly come in that exact format.
You go to school, you get a job after that and then you get married. But lately, I've been having second thoughts on the third one, marriage. I'm not entirely against it and aside from religion and all that, I do believe that marriage is a good thing, or at least it used to be during the days of my forefathers and fathers..
But lately, it has become a nightmare and I'm starting to question the importance of marriage. With a lot of divorce here and there and also with all of the other crazy things happening in marriage, I honestly don't think it's something I would want to put myself through. And yeah, it's something I've been thinking about lately and I honestly do hope that I get to have a different mindset when it's eventually time for me to get a partner and settle down because I honestly don't think I'm mentally ready to have any conversation that has to do with me not wanting to get married with my family, most especially my dad..
And that is because no matter how old you get, there are certain conversations you still wouldn't want to have with your dad. Anyways like I said, I do hope I get a change of heart and not end up as a single father just because I don't want to get hurt.
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I don’t understand why African parents are always trying to hide their acts of love.😂 you’ll never see them kiss but I guess you were lucky to have caught that.
When I think of marriage, I really get stressed out. What if your marriage turns out to be your worst nightmare? Marriage is scary, no doubt but I think we should have a positive mind about it because we all wouldn’t have the same marriage life. Some people will have problems and even divorce while others will have the best among the best.
I get your point but you see, it's not always about having a positive mindset.. I'm sure no one gets married hoping it will fail, but a lot of it does and in scary ways too..
I guess what scare me the most is the fact that we can't control some of this things and that most marriages will fail whether we like it or not.
I agree with you. Marriage in itself is a risk.
When it comes to marriage talk, it is in diverse and a vast topic that one cannot finish discussing. There are factors surrounding divorce nowadays and one cause I have come to understand is that communication is missing in a relationship among two people.
Some partners do not take time to study a lot of things before jumping into marriage, hence, most of them go through divorce. Marriage is sweet and can be coped with the right person without the thought of becoming a single mother or father. At least there are marriages that are still standing strong despite ups and downs which is normal for two different people who have been joined together.
Marriage can be a lot of work, I get it but I really don't think studying your partner would prevent a divorce when the time comes. There are people who dated a eight years before getting married and still ended up getting divorced.
Maybe studying your partner might work every now and then, I really don't think it's a solid solution to the problem.
You have a point because each partner brings out a new attitude in marriage which becomes surprising to the other party, but in all, there are lots of things in marriage that one cannot understand to the end. That is why in marriage, people keep learning and it takes an enduring mind to keep it going.
Hmmmm... I feel you, but this quote I saw made me see marriage in a better light and understand it better.
It says "It is better to be single than marry the wrong person, but it is best to marry the right person than be single".
When I saw it, I realised it is sooo true. I remembered all the bad marriages I saw and that it was better to be single and I remembered all the awesome marriages I saw and that there's something better than being single. It is marrying right.
The issue now is to recognize the person that it right for you.
Don't get it twisted, marriage is sweet o 😂 (When you marry the right person).
When you marry the right person.. That's where the problem lies, finding the right person.
That's the point.
That's not the only thing, but that's the first thing... Lol
Stressful but worth it.
Marriage is such kind of thing for which you need to regret for doing it and for not doing it in both cases 😅. It's a joke but take it seriously 🤣.
Sometimes you need to take the steps. So why delay 😅? Will I start finding a good lady for you? 🤣
To me I feel it's more like a gamble.. Some get lucky, some don't.
No please, I'm not ready yet 😂
All parents should think about this if we get our children married early, it is much better for their future life because when a person reaches the age of marriage and does not get married. So then man starts getting into other radiation and it is not good at all for our good health and good life.
When is the age for marriage?
22
you should be scared of your mom finding out you don't want to get married. You will explain why you have decided to deprive her. African mothers can be really dramatic. I hope you see understand that as bad as the world is today, there are still good people out there who wants same thing as yours. I hope you find them and live a better love life.
Lol.. When the time comes and I don't feel like getting married, I won't.. The last thing I want to do is go into something as serious as marriage just to please someone else and not myself.
You have a very valid point. And I agree with you.