Learning even when you don't know it

Today, myself and someone had engaged in a conversation about giving. What sparked the conversation was due to the trend on twitter about a lady who's currently receiving loads of gift because she had talked about waking up early in the morning to make lunch for her husband to take to work.

Well during the conversation with this person, I remembered something, something that was really important to me while growing up. You see, I've always believed that the reason why I give to people and always want to help out was because I had trained myself into becoming that kind of man, that was what I've always told myself and to be honest, for years now I've believed it but that isn't entirely true.

_{Photo by Connor Hall}

Today, during that conversation with this someone, I had randomly thought about my dad and this particular lady who sold frozen fish from across our house. This lady had lost her husband to an illness a while back but she didn't let that stop her from her hustle. After mourning her lost, she had continued her business with her kids, but as a single mother with more than four children (although there weren't little kids), it didn't take long for her business to dwindle.

Unlike in the past where she would go to the market and return with a truck load of frozen fish, she now came home with one or two boxes of fish. Unknown to me, my dad was watching all of this from his end and I didn't know any of this until one day when he handed me an envelope filled with cash to give to the lady.

You see, my dad has always been a quiet man, especially in the street. He mostly only exchange pleasantries with people and hardly would you see him standing on the road talking to anyone for more than five minutes. So for someone who barely says anything to anyone outside his family and close friends, I was surprised he had even noticed the lady struggling.

Well, maybe this was a one time thing I had thought, but after he gave me the envelope over and over again (even giving my mom the envelope to give to her whenever I was away at school), it made me realize that the first time wasn't what I had thought it was, it was just my old man doing what he knows how to do best, helping someone in need.

But aside from giving her those many envelopes, one other thing that fascinated me was the fact that none of my siblings knew about it. Although he had told me not to mention it to anyone, he was talking about my friends and not my siblings because he didn't want words spreading out and making it feel like he was using her for clout.

And although I didn't know it then, but that whole experience made me the man I am today when it comes to giving because I could see the appreciation on the lady's face each time I handed her those envelopes and those look on her face meant everything to me. Most times she would stop me from leaving immediately and just starts praying for my dad while I stand there, shouting a thousand Amen.

Sadly we left that area many years ago and I honestly don't know what became of the lady. I hope she and her family were able to bounce back to their feet and are doing well.