How do you help a man who doesn't want to help himself?

How do you help a man who doesn't want to help himself? This is a question that I've been asking myself for a while now.

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photo by Akira Hojo

This evening, a friend of mine had paid me a visit. He's one of those friends who's doing well for themselves. He has a good job and is financially stable. We had talked about a couple of things before finally discussing about a mutual friend of ours who has been going through a lot, someone who I've once written about here.

I had once written about a friend who due to his financial situation, we (about three of us who are his friends) had to come together to think of a way to help him. We tried doing so for a month but failed because he couldn't find a job within that one month, or so we thought.

But you see, we've come to find out that maybe, just maybe, things haven't been working out for this friend of ours simply because he isn't pushing himself hard enough to make them work. It turned out that he's had various job opportunities where all he had to do was to just go apply for the job in person but he had refused due to one flimsy excuse or the other.

Apparently he wasn't open for just any kind of job and needed something that he could do from home, an online job. And seeing how he couldn't get one at the moment, he remained jobless.

Then things got worse for him recently and for some dumb reason, he decided that the only thing he could do to make some money was to sell his phone, the one thing he could use for work if he eventually gets the online job he's been looking for.

I remember when he first told me of his plans of selling his phone and how I had thought that he was joking about the whole thing. But then one morning he went out with the phone and returned without it. And now, not only is he jobless, he doesn't have a phone no more.

Usually I would move on with my life and pretend like this guy doesn't exist but this is someone that has been a good friend of mine for the past five years and turning a blind eye to his situation isn't something I can do easily.

So now I'm in a bit of a jam, trying to think of a way to help this young man out. But you see, the million dollar question still remains how do I help a man who doesn't want to help himself?

And yes, I've introduced him to Hive a couple of times and each time he has given up because according to him, it's just not paying well enough. So what do I do?



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I think those people who are helping him by providing finance is enemy. Because I believe he is careless because somehow he is getting the financial support. You should leave him to face his own struggle otherwise he won't come out from the situation. I think won't help you can do and its giving him at job but don't think to provide him a single penny doesn't matter how tough situation he face. It's my opinion.

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My friend also said the same thing.. He said that maybe the reason why this guy is being lazy is because he knows that we will always be here to support him and that's true.

Maybe we do have to let him dance to his music a little bit.

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I understand how you felt about him and that's how a friend should feels about his lovely friend. In my contribution, I will said that, he gave time to the online hustle he get into, because online hustles needs time grow, and he shouldn't overlooked other works as well, he should keep on applying for job's and one day he would gets the job he likes.

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That's his problem though, applying for jobs.. He hasn't physically gone to apply for any job..

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i dont think u can really help him . he has to wake up

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