How do you do it?

In some of my previous posts, I had mentioned that I happened to be one of those people who get angry easily (although I'm a lot better at controlling it now and hardly care enough about anything to make it make me upset but if someone tries really hard, I still get upset from time to time) but luckily for me, I kinda know how to hold myself back from doing anything that might cause harm physically to anyone making me upset. Basically because I most times just walk away from such scenerios. But you see, most of the times when I walk away, I feel like a coward, I feel like I should have stayed and do something instead rather than just walk away.

I know this is just the anger in me speaking and I really shouldn't be paying attention to it but I hate the feeling. I hate having to be the one feeling shitty even if the reason I'm upset was due to someone else's arrogance or foolishness.

So I really need you guys response on this question that I'm about to ask. How do you guys control your anger or what do you people do when someone annoys you and you don't want to retaliate, what do you do that doesn't make you guys hate yourself afterwards or feel bad that you did nothing.

The reason why I'm asking this is because I really want to be in charge and don't want myself getting controlled by my feelings and even though I know it won't be a walk in the park, I'm ready to give it a shot and this is because I've seen what anger does to people who don't have control over it.

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Photo by Simran Sood

You see I grew up in a poor area where there were touts and some low lives people who would rather drink and smoke weed all day rather than go do something meaningful with their lives. And if there's one thing common in a place filled with drunkers, it's drunkers fighting because these guys will literally fight over anything, even a cigarette that has already been smoked halfway.

One time this man got really pissed off by one of this guys and even though everyone else was pleading with him to just forget about it and go his way, he refused because the other guy just refused to shut up. So the man charged at the drunk guy and landed just one blow on him. That was all it took to send the drunk guy to the other side and get the other man arrested and probably locked up for life.

I'm sure after he landed that blow and saw the results of his action, he probably had one thought in mind, that he should have listened to the people and just walked away. But you see, I feel like that man would have made a better decision if he had somehow found a way to be in charge of his feelings and not let it control him, and that is what I want to do today.

So please people, how do you do it?



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(Edited)

The same thing happens to me. I think that if we accumulate a lot of stress then it can explode for any stupid reason and at the wrong time.
I think we have to find the way to manage our emotions.
Maybe we should count until 10 before saying or doing anything 😅.
Or practicing mindfulness or something to try to be in calm. But sometimes it's difficult.

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Counting to 10 might be a good idea though but I doubt it will be of much help if the other person refuses to shut up and just keeps on annoying you.

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At that time, I would follow the advice to try to "have peace in the midst of the storm," only responding calmly to defend myself. Avoiding putting myself on the person's level because there will be no understanding possible.
(That's what I want to learn to do. But I know it's hard haha. It takes a lot of practice)

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(Edited)

When I am angry, I unconsciously curl my toes really hard and if I feel a strong urge to burst out, i grit my teeth or walk away. But sometimes, walking away feels worse than answering back. Know that it actually hurts whoever you're having issues with even more if you just keep quiet while they ramble alone. You might also want to try blacking out(ie attending to some more important stuff in your head. It works for me tho. If you join your rival to argue and quarrel, it would be so easy for you to become talkative or even get physical. For me, not replying makea me feel better.

Meanwhile, that story you shared up there should be enough reason for you to keep your emotions in check. ...I know it's easier said.

I really hope you find a solution that works for you.

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Well I know how to keep my emotions in check, it's the feeling I get after doing that that prompted me to make this post because I hate it. Curling my toes or gritting my teeth doesn't look like something I would want to do though 😅.. I guess walking away is the only way.

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All right! I understand that.
Walk away it is then.
Well-done!

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Anger can destroy things before you know it and you end up regretting you shouldn´t have, you should have listened, you should have just left the scene peacefully, but that moment, they ain´t in control again but the anger itself.

Ever since I knew what anger does and how I have always been cautioned and advised of my attitude then, I have stopped getting angry and learned how to control it by simply not acting immediately. a Months ago, I found a trick that worked for it. Someone annoyed me to the extent that I was thinking of lashing out words immediately after I got home, when I did, I just went straight to sleep and by the time I woke up, it was as if nothing happened.

My way of doing this is to sleep or not just say anything because I might regret whatever I say.

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If I go to sleep every time someone gets me angry, I might not do anything for the whole day 😂

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Not that you sleep everytime you are upset but find other means like being calm and not even say anything at that moment. Lol

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I agree with you that it can be quite hard walking away from a fight and you can get over that feeling by weighing the odds.
You have ascertain that the individual you want to get physical with is worth the time and energy you'll put, they're not usually worth it all the time.
With that thought in mind, it's easier for me to walk away feeling okay.

I hope my comment helped. 😐

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Hmmm.. So I guess it's just walking away and telling yourself that person isn't worth it.. But what if they keep on doing that same thing on different occasions, do I keep on walking away?

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No you won't, you'll fight back in a way that wouldn't be a disaster to you in the future.

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