Get Comfortable Saying it

_{Photo by Gemma Evans}
I've come to realize that one of the hardest things for people to say to another person in the world we are living in today is the word NO. For some reason, people don't really say it much but we actually need more people saying NO and that is because it will help stop a lot of unnecessary things.

I will be lying if I said I have no idea why people find it hard to say NO because I used to be like that back in the day. I remember back then that instead of saying it bluntly, I'd beat around the bush and just use multiple words to say NO because I was trying not to get the other person offended.

But you see, the truth is that saying NO shouldn't really get people offended. If you're asking me for a favor, then you should know that there's a 50/50 possibility of me saying YES to you, and also a 50/50 possibility of me saying NO to you. I feel like most people just focus too much on the first 50 percent chance on them getting a positive answer from you (which is good because we have to be positive) that they get very very disappointed when you don't give them the response they want. But the truth is, if they had left their mind open to the other 50/50 percentage of them getting a no, they wouldn't have been that disappointed.

We can't always have things our way, we should always remember that.

And this is one of the reasons why I decided to normalise saying NO to people because I want them to know that it's always going to be 50/50 with me, so whenever they decide to come ask me for a favour, they have to keep an open mind. And trust me when I say this, it was really hard when I first started. It's not really an easy task doing something a different way from the usual way people know. So I started by not beating around the bush anymore. Whenever my friends asked for my help on something I normally wouldn't do but won't say No to (instead I would beat around the bush and somehow make them understand that I don't want to do that stuff), I just started saying NO to them.

At first they thought I was being mean but then as time went on, they just got used to it and realized that I was saying NO to them, not because I wanted to be mean and not help, but because I just didn't want to do what they were asking me to do.

It's been a couple of years now since I started saying NO to some things and trust me when I say it has helped me avoid a lot of unnecessary stuff.

But please don't get the whole message wrong. It's good to help people especially if you can (I know I do), but if you don't feel like it, just know that there's absolutely nothing wrong in you saying "No, I can't help you" and you shouldn't feel bad when people say the same thing to you too because no one is entitled to anyone's help.