Food For Thoughts

I don't know if this is a body or mind thing, but which ever it is, it's crazy how it works, especially when it's food related.

_{photo by Alexey Ruban}

In the past, I've heard people complain about how whenever they're hungry and they go to the kitchen to cook that thing that they're craving for, they end up not wanting to eat it when they're done cooking. It has gotten so bad that I've seen some of my friends beg someone else to help them cook, not because they can't cook for themselves, but because they fear that they just might not have the appetite to eat that food when they do.

I've heard this from too many people to know that it's true. Funny enough, while that hasn't really happened to me (probably due to the fact that I can't cook that well, so I rarely try), my own version of something related to that is that I've come to notice that I tend to feel a lot hungry whenever I don't have food at home, but whenever I know that there's something to eat, I find myself not wanting to eat anything.

Let me give you an example.

For the past few days I haven't been feeling too well, so I've mostly been indoors while a friend of mine assists me with getting whatever it is I might need outside. Well yesterday, I had all of my meals late because I had woken up a bit late, so by the time it got to 8pm later that night, I wasn't sure if I would still need dinner...and this was because it wasn't too long ago I ate and I wasn't feeling that hungry.

Now the wise thing to do would have been to get something, probably a pack of noodles or some snacks just in case I ended feeling hungry later that night, but I didn't. And to my defence, I still wasn't feeling hungry even when it got to 10pm which was the time our hostel gate usually gets closed, so I felt I would be fine.

Well the moment the hostel gate was closed, it was as if something opened up in my stomach and all of a sudden I felt like I could eat an elephant. I ended up forcing myself to sleep because I had nothing at home.

Fast forward to today and the same exact thing had happened. I woke up late, had a late breakfast and lunch, but rather than repeat my yesterday's mistake, I had gotten some food just in case I find myself feeling hungry. It's currently 11:58pm as I write this and the food is just seated there, staring at me.

For some reason, just because my mind knows that I have a plan B, it has refused to put me in a situation where I have to use it, and this isn't the first time something like this is happening to me. It's almost like it (my mind) likes to see me suffer, and then when I try to avoid that suffering by thinking ahead, it makes me feel like there was no point thinking ahead because I was never going to need it, just like I'm never going to feel hungry tonight to eat this food.