Controlling the Urge
I've come to notice that I always get this urge to want to indirectly compete with my friends, especially when they get new stuff. It's not always exactly a competition, but I always get this urge to want what they have especially when they just got it.
A good example was the time a close friend of mine got himself a laptop and though I was happy for him, I started to get this whole feeling to want a laptop for myself too. And so I started working hard, putting in twice the work than I normally would do but even with all that, I still wasn't able to afford the same exact laptop and then suddenly, after about two weeks of my friend having that laptop, the urge to want it for myself began to die down and it didn't take long before it disappeared.
I soon realized that this mostly happens whenever my close friends get something new for themselves and then after a week or two, the urge disappears and I no longer want that stuff. For a while I didn't know if feeling that way was normal and if everyone always felt that way too or it was just me.
Well until last week, a friend of mine had gotten himself a new smart TV and while it looked really nice and cool, I didn't feel like getting it for myself because I already had one, but on my way home with another friend, he began to talk about how my friend getting that TV now makes him want to get a TV for himself.
At first I didn't think much about it but when he kept on talking about it even after we got home and even started making calls to people he felt would be potential buyers for his laptop (because he didn't have any money to get the television so he had to sell something), I knew he was serious and was probably going through the same thing I went through when he got that same laptop.
I immediately tried talking to him, using my experience to advise him and also asking him to wait about a week or two and if he still wants to sell his laptop, he can go ahead and do it.
I honestly don't know what this urge is and would like to know. So if any of you have experienced this and do know what I'm talking about (or probably a name for it), do let me know in the comment section below.
Thank you.
I think I experience something similar to it sometimes. I don’t want to call it envy because I’m genuinely happy for them. In my case, I don’t feel like that when they buy something new. It’s achievements for me. So maybe a promotion or something like that. It just makes me want to do better (kinda like competition like you said). I’d be interested to know what the deal is about though. Maybe it’s just normal human nature to want to compete? I don’t know. Hopefully a psychologist of some sort will find this and help us out:)
Well, it might just be a normal human behaviour to want to compete but yeah, let's hope a professional comes and helps out.
We all want good things and there is nothing wrong with that but feeling pressured in your mind to get that same thing is bad.
It is something that needs to be controlled because it cause of to make bad decisions that might backfire. Imagine if you hadn't stopped your friend, he could have just given out the system at a cheaper price and end up regretting.
"Do I really need this? What will be the importance of this to me? What value will this add to me?" These are the questions we should always ask ourselves when this feeling sets in.
You're very correct. Luckily for me, I think I've mastered the act of controlling this feeling, so whenever I feel that way, I just tell myself that I won't be feeling the same way in a week time and that's it. Unfortunately, it seems my friend is new to this.
Translated and formatted with Hive Translator by @noakmilo.
Thank you.