Being in Charge of the Narrative
Something happened today that just made me realize how much a lot of people prefer to just leave things to chance instead of choosing to be in charge of things that happen in their lives and making sure they go the way they want them to go.
About an hour ago, a friend of mine was telling me about this girl that he likes who apparently likes him too (she had mentioned it during one of their many conversations) and how he was currently confused because of her recent behavior. They're not in a relationship yet but unlike what she told him, he feels like her recent behaviors towards him doesn't really tally with the feelings she claim to have for him.
So he was telling me about her this evening and basically was saying that he wasn't going to do anything extra but was just going to move with the flow of things and if things works out, then good and if it doesn't, fine. The moment I heard him say those words, I immediately shook my head and told him how that was a bad idea because personally, I believe if we want something or if we like someone, then we should be bold enough to go for it and not just leave things to chance.
I get it that things may not always go the way we want it, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't try. Trying is far more better than just leaving things to chance especially when the other party already confessed their feelings towards you.
And this ideology doesn't only apply to relationships but to life in general. We really should stop leaving things to chance and work towards whatever it is we want to achieve in life. I'm not saying it's a bad idea leaving things to chance, it's just that shouldn't be a way to live one's life. Everyone should be in charge of their narratives or at least try. That way you get to know a little bit quicker if things will work out or not.
Because not being in charge is like you giving the other person all of the power over you which never is a good idea because now they can do whatever they want with you and if they go towards the direction you don't like, you end up getting hurt badly.
Sadly, I don't think this friend of mine has the balls to take charge but hopefully he does and who knows, maybe she's only acting different now because she's upset she told him she likes him and he hasn't done anything about it yet.
It is important to take charge of a situation.
This your belief is actually good but not in Nigeria. I think it is futile to put in efforts to when the lady is not putting in effort. A relationship is of mutualistic beneficence and not just one sided. Since the lady likes him too, both of them should put efforts
Lol.. It's actually the opposite if we're being honest. Most ladies over here consider telling you that they like you as them shooting their highest level of "shots" and then it's left for the guy to take it from there.
If he doesn't, the lady does nothing and the whole thing just ends there even if they (the lady) doesn't want it to.
Personally, I feel weird for a lady to shoot the shot. Though I've had multiple bullets from ladies, it doesn't always work out.
It is better for a male to do the shooting, then both will work towards achieving a successful relationship.
The lady leaving it to die off means that she was acting as a result of fluctuations and not love. If she truly love the guy, she wouldn't leave the relationship entirely to the male but instead, she will understand that keeping a relationship is mutualistic and not one sided.
True, but you forget that they're not yet in a relationship. Which is why I said he should go ahead and tell her how he feels and not leave things to chance.
!ALIVE | !BBH | !PGM
@prayzz! Your Content Is Awesome so I just sent 1 $BBH (Bitcoin Backed Hive) to your account on behalf of @vocup. (3/20)
@prayzz! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @ vocup. (3/20)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want, plus you can win Hive Power (2x 50 HP) and Alive Power (2x 500 AP) delegations (4 weeks), and Ecency Points (4x 50 EP), in our chat every day.
BUY AND STAKE THE PGM TO SEND A LOT OF TOKENS!
The tokens that the command sends are: 0.1 PGM-0.1 LVL-0.1 THGAMING-0.05 DEC-15 SBT-1 STARBITS-[0.00000001 BTC (SWAP.BTC) only if you have 2500 PGM in stake or more ]
5000 PGM IN STAKE = 2x rewards!
Discord
Support the curation account @ pgm-curator with a delegation 10 HP - 50 HP - 100 HP - 500 HP - 1000 HP
Get potential votes from @ pgm-curator by paying in PGM, here is a guide
I'm a bot, if you want a hand ask @ zottone444
Thank you.
I am not so experienced in that kind of situation but I think that decision of your friend was not bad either. If both of them likes each other then nothing will happen but in the opposite case it's also good. It's because if it's not happening now the thing may happen in the future and it will hurt more. In that case early move on is a better decision.
By the way I said earlier that I am not experienced 😅.
The funny thing is that the lady might want to be with the guy, but she wants him to take the lead and "be a man". At least that's how most of the ladies over here think.
But you're right, if they do end the whole thing now, it will hurt less compared to doing it in the future.
I think he should just have a talk with her to ask him why she suddenly changed
He can do that fast before she runs away with another man
That’s if he likes her though
I agree on having a conversation with her, but instead of asking her why the change in behaviour, he should just go ahead and honestly tell her how he feels about her.
The way the time is going today, every person is spending time with each other, it should not be like this at all.
Interesting points and I agree with most of them. Issue pops up when one wants to be in charge of the change but is unable to due to either hierarchy or politics at work, or due to emotional situation at home. But this is not to dissuade your line of thought. I am reaching 50 and people around me are getting stubborn by the year (probably me too). I do agree that the young should have the mindset you highlighted. More than anything else it will remove the victim mentality that a lot of us hide under.
For your friend, my one piece of advice will be that while it is great to assume what another person might feel or think, like it happens in books and movies, it is much more honest and light on the soul to just speak things out and discuss it. I know a lot of my friends and family think I am a bit crazy and bling to not understand the non-spoken behavior around us. It is not that I don't see or assume, that is a basic trait of mankind to try and make sense of everything. However, it is unfair to the other when you assume or think for them without having any context of what is happening. I see in my closest relation where people assume I am doing something for one reason and I know for a fact that I am doing it for another reason. So my golden rule is that, other than your partner, accept what people say and see how they act but don't assume their intentions or drivers unless they have specifically mentioned them. This will reduce a lot of stress in our own lives as well in others lives too :) At least that has been my experience.