An indirect goodbye
When I first gained admission into the university, I was that shy lad who mostly kept to himself. And it wasn't because I hated talking to people, but because I was too shy to start up conversations with strangers.
Fast forward to five years later and I'm eventually done with schooling (at least at the moment), and all of a sudden, it's starting to look like everyday I spend here (at my hostel) might be my last, not because I'm dying soon (God forbid), but because I might leave soon.
Usually, this wouldn't be a problem if I still was that shy lad who had no friends, but it's no longer like that and I now have friends all over the place.
Anyways, being the kind of guy that I am, I suck at saying goodbye to friends and try to avoid or postpone it for as long as I can, but seeing how goodbyes is part of life, I can't really avoid it that much can I?
Well, I finally came up with a way that I feel would make things a lot easier for me (hopefully), and it's something that I call the indirect goodbye.
For a while now I've been hanging out with friends with the mindset that that might be the last time I get to see them, even though I know it's not exactly true. For some reason, I feel like thinking that way will somehow reduce the pain when I eventually do get to leave.
Will it work? I hope so, because this is my last attempt at trying to make myself feel less hurtful when I eventually do leave for home. And sadly, with each day that passes, the day that I get to leave here draws closer.
But that isn't even the sad part, the sad part about this whole thing is that I feel bad about leaving here to go back home when I should be excited about going back home to meet my family. But you see, it isn't entirely my fault, home just hasn't been feeling like home lately for a lot of reasons, reasons I would rather not discuss here with anyone.
Anyways, this will probably be the last time I would be talking about going home because the next time I do, I would be thousands of kilometres away from my current location and hopefully, home gets to be a lot more welcoming and loving like it used to be back in the day when mom was around.
It's never easy to say goodbye but you have to consider the fact that this might not be the final goodbye as you may meet some of them in future.
It happens.
I highly doubt it but you're right.
Hmm. I can guess your situation a little bit. It's kind of complex situation although it's seems simple from outside. Just enjoy each moment and don't think too much.
I will try not to think much about it 😅