A friend of a friend

My friend’s girlfriend chatted me up today. She had wanted to know if her boyfriend had told me anything about why he had acted up the previous day. Apparently he had ignored her the previous day and was miraculously talking to her that morning. She had texted me because she felt the only way he had decided to text her was if I spoke some sense into him, so she wanted to know what I said so that she could have some form of understanding about what she did wrong.

Of course I knew what she had done but didn’t tell her. Instead I ignored that question (before it wasn’t for me to answer) and told her that I had no hand in him deciding to talk to her now (which is true). He did tell me why he was upset with her, but I never said anything to him to help ease his anger, I just listened.

But instead of just ending the conversation like that, I decided to give her a little tip on why he probably was now talking to her. I said that maybe all he needed was just sometime to let go of his anger and now that he has done that, he was back to his senses, reasons why he now was talking to her again.

She had agreed with me but had told me that she hated that kind of solution. She would have preferred if he told her what she had done wrong so that she could apologize instead of just ignoring her and saying nothing and that was when I had a flashback about a tweet I saw some weeks ago. A lady had tweeted about how much she hated it when her boyfriend gets upset and decides not to talk to her for days when he could have just spoken up like an adult and got it over with.

So I replied her, I told her that some people need some time to vent and get angry, some alone time. It’s not everytime the word “I’m sorry” works, sometimes it makes the whole situation worse. There are times when we just have to allow them go through that anger process and when we see that they’re now calm, we can approach them and maybe try to apologize. Because people tend to say things when they’re upset and you could end up losing your relationship just because you forced your man/woman to talk to you during their moment of anger.

I had said this things to her hoping that she would see some sense in them. Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t. Any which way, it’s either they break up or make up.

_{Photo by
Amel Majanovic}