A Double Edged sword

_{Photo by Ricardo Moura}

I've always been someone to talk about African parents and how I feel its not right that they always want to have one hundred percent control over their kids, not letting their kids do what they want to do but what their parents want them to do, unlike the kids in the western world who get such freedom and get to follow their own path.

Well to be honest, I don't think I've been completely fair on the matter because whether we like it or not, more than eighty percent of our parents want the best for us, so they try to force us to do things that they believe would help us during the long run, even if we don't want to do those things and feel like our parents are being unfair to us.

I for one is a living testimony of some of these things because growing up, my dad made sure we did everything the way he wanted us to do it and coming from a Christian family whose father is a pastor, it was pretty much church related things. But you see, those weren't the only things that rubbed off on us (me in particular) from our father.

I believe that the reason that I happen to be an introvert today who can't seem to start a normal conversation with a complete stranger was due to how I was brought up by my dad. Now this isn't me complaining, I believe that I'm at that age where I shouldn't blame my past anymore for how I turn out because I'm a grown up now and should be able to shape myself into the kind of person I want to be but as usual, it's easier said than done.

But you see, my dad is a well respected man in our community who always keep to himself and most times only spoke when he needed to. And being a well respected man who said less, he made sure his kids didn't bring any form of shame to his name. So my dad would always discipline us for any mistake made by us and although that made us respect ourselves and made us not mingle with the bad kids in the community, it kinda affected my social skills. Because in other to stay out of trouble, I made myself believe that if I said less and made people know little about myself, then I would be safe and not get into trouble.

Did that work? Of course it did but at what price? I ended up being a secluded human being who rarely let people in, something I plan to change in the nearest future. But you see, the question I've been asking myself lately is if I should blame my dad for making me an introvert and honestly, I don't think I should.

To be honest, if my dad had left me to move around the way I wanted and maybe not try to control me in certain ways, I'm hundred percent sure I would have turned out very bad because I lived in a very rough environment. That is why I said parents being hundred percent control of their kids is a double edged sword because at one hand, you're training your kids in a way you feel will make them successful and well-mannered in the future while at the other hand, they're picking up some of your habits that they would grow up to regret.

I hate being an introvert but I believe I'm one because my dad is one. Hopefully, I get to face my fears and maybe become an ambivert someday or even an extrovert. But in all, one thing is certain, and that is that our parents want the best for us and they're not perfect.