A Different Method


Being a Nigerian and someone who has seen and experienced how effective not spearing the rod can be, I do feel like there are times where beating a child rather than talking to that child has proven to be less effective and I also say this from experience.

Yes, I do admit that there are situations where you just have to flog the devil out of the kid so that when next they want to repeat the same mistake and they remember how they were dealt with the first time, they will refrain from doing it. It's like a case of when you try stopping a child from touching a lantern because it's hot but the child keeps on crawling towards the lantern, so you leave him to touch it and feel the burn. When he does, he won't go close to it anymore and even if you take the lantern to him, he will run away or cry.

I get it that it probably works most of the time but I do feel like there are situations where sitting the child down and reasoning with them will yield more result. Truth be told, training your child with the cane will only result to the kid being afraid of you, but what happens when that kid is now grown up and no longer fears you?

Most of them will end up doing what they've always wanted to do even if its bad because you never really told them why you never wanted them not to do it, all you did was bring out your cane whenever they did that thing.

Parents (most especially African parents) should learn how to talk to their kids more and make them see things in a way where they understand their parents point of view because only with proper understanding will change take effect. My dad used to be one of those parents who was a samurai with his cane. The man never hesitated to use it when he wanted to and that made us scared of him but then he realized it and changed his method and now we all have a close and better father and son relationship.

I remember back then, I was so scared of my dad that one time after we were given our school report card which had our result in it, I had begged a friend of mine to lend me his pen because I had been so scared to go home with my very bad result. For some reason, my friend had refused to give me his pen and so I had remained in school crying, and refusing to go back home because I knew how hard I was going to get flogged.

I was still a little kid at the time (around eleven years old) and I had refused to leave the school premises until one of the teachers volunteered to take me home and plead with my parents on my behalf. That was how scared I was back then and trust me when I say this, it wasn't a nice experience.

Photo by Harika G