Adventures From a Lifetime of Staring at Girls #9
Hola everyone! And welcome to the Ninth edition of Adventures from a Lifetime of Staring at Sweethearts, I am your host with the hoes, Nevies the not-novice 😉, the eyes of Horus looking at the ass of whore-rus (Yes, I'd do anything for the rhyme)
This is a series where I give situation reports about things that transpire as I go about my daily life simply being a gentleman, walking upright, breathing in air, keeping an open mind like they say in the philosophy books and finally keeping an open eye that just happens to take in so many girls.
Here's the intro to the series:
I'm assuming by now everyone knows I'm like most modest gentlemen out there, which means everyone knows that quite like everybody else I breathe through my nose, eat through my mouth and like me some girls 😀.
There are a lot of things I want to do with these girls, naturally, and once in a while I'm lucky enough to do it with them, other times I'm stumbling and rolling on the ground from hitting the many obstacles that stand between me and doing the happy things I want to do with these girls. But there's one thing that is the easiest to do, this one thing that every gentleman like myself dearly love to do, this one thing that never fails us, this one thing that is always readily available to be done if you quite want to. That one thing is: looking at girls!
It never fails. All you need to do is go where girls could be found, or simply go about your daily business in society, keeping an open heart and an open eye and you'd get to absorb all the beauty, hills and plains, curves and edges these ladies drag along with them.
There are studies (you can check one out here), that prove that staring at women can be very beneficial to men's lifespans and health. Now I'm an honest man, I'm not trying to pretend like this study is the reason why I stare at girls, I had been staring at girls years before the people who carried out this study were even born, but I'm bringing this study up so that you can look at me and be proud of me for the great work I'm busy doing on my health and lifespan instead of doing drugs and ruining my life. You see?
So in my day to day quest to staying a model young man by improving my health in this way, I do have some adventures (Funny how I didn't have to become an archeologist in the end in order to have my fair share of adventure in this life). I've decided I start sharing my adventures, observations and stories with the rest of the world, who knows I might end up inspiring people to be healthier and lead better lives. With that I welcome you all to the brand new series tittled:
Adventures From a Lifetime of Staring at Girls Confetti!
In case you didn't already realize it, this series is like what they do on #exhaust and #actifit, it is all a means to promote healthy living by documenting our healthy activities. Before you object, remember the studies that show that staring at swidis is healthy living? Alright, don't argue with scientists and experts okay?
I'm going to be separating these different adventures/stories and calling them 'Reports' for organizational purposes like I always do. Each adventures post would typically have many reports so it would never be too brief. Alright, here we go for the sixth edition!
There's this football viewing center I go to, it is just a small hall with chairs and television sets where you can watch football matches. Places like these are common in Nigeria.
So, one day I went there to just chill and watch a match, only to find the only door of the place was close to the TV. I was enraged, like what kind of managers do this viewing center have? How stupid of them to place an open door near a television? It's surely going to distract viewers, the light from outside, passers-by, everything! With my gnashed teeth I called the managers a lot of heinous names in my heart but since it was the only door and closing it would make outsiders think they were not open for business and the only option was changing the entire set up of the place - a very hard one, I decided to just accept it and watch my match.
But before long I started seeing a lot of beautiful shapely girls passing by through that door, and I had a really great view from there. Sometimes these girls pass when the match is getting boring or not doing much and give me something better to look unto. I saw very pleasing sights that day and at the end I couldn't help but feel guilty and sorry for the names I'd called those managers in my heart, they didn't deserve that, I had to right my wrongs and speak better things of them in my heart and even bless them in the name of the father before I left.
Two girls were walking down together, obviously friends. I saw em from afar and decided I liked only one of them so I kept my eyes on her, giving her the continuous assessment I owed her as a responsible member of society that I am. Only for me to see her friend look at me, then follow my gaze, find that my gaze was on her friend and roll her eyes.
Damn, that's when I knew I had messed up. I knew I'd contributed a quota to someone's possible harm or even murder. How? You know, girls are known for being jealous of each other and harming each other from that jealousy and I'd just done one of the things that make a girl be jealous of another, which is: abandoning her and staring at her friend instead. And I'm a good looking guy for that matter 🤦♂️. Shit, she'd probably start hating her friend for taking all the attention and overshadowing her and probably strangle her in her sleep tonight. Oh! How do I cleanse myself of this guilt!
Hola at your man here, a fan of internet twerk videos ✌️
But recently, I've noticed a new trend in twerk videos, there's a challenge called thunder thigh challenge, the challenge requires the girls to face the camera and just make their thighs shake and that's all. You'd see girls with well shaped thighs that assures you there's a lot of booty to behold behind it, only for the girl to never turn that booty for you to see, only front view for you, can you imagine that shit? Like who thinks up such a cruel idea for a challenge? That must've been how Hitler started, you can't tell me nothing.
That's it y'all! 😃 Thanks for dropping by on today's edition. See you in future editions!
Also, if you haven't, check out the previous editions: Adventures From a Lifetime of Staring at Girls #1 Has 4 reports
Adventures From a Lifetime of Staring at Girls #2 Has 4 reports
Adventures From a Lifetime of Staring at Girls #3 Has 2 reports
Adventures From a Lifetime of Staring at Girls #4 Has 2 reports
Adventures From a Lifetime of Staring at Girls#5 Has 5 reports
Adventures From a Lifetime of Staring at Girls#6 Has 4 reports
Adventures From a Lifetime of Staring at Girls#7 Has 2 reports
Adventures From a Lifetime of Staring at Girls#8 Has 3 reports