@lasseehlers Has Bought Steemit

Steem blockchain users were greeted with a bizarre surprise as they woke up on April 1st. In a move that left the community scratching their heads, TRON and STEEM tokens mysteriously transformed into LASSECASH and PUPPY tokens overnight in their wallets.

A post by @justinsunsteemit was posted revealing that @lasseehlers, renowned for his unconventional antics and low effort posts on Hive, had seized the opportunity presented by HEX's dramatic price drop. With a stroke of audacity, @lasseehlers swooped in and acquired a whopping 98% ownership of all HEX tokens. At the time of the trade of HEX for Steemit the market cap for HEX was $59.87 USD. The deal with @justinsunsteemit was finalized at the Pizza Hut where @lasseehlers works, making edible flat Earth maps.

As @justinsunsteemit wrote in his final blog post on Steemit:

It was just like Doc Brown from Back to the Future. That's how I know this is my greatest genius move. I was drunk as a skunk, slipped on the edge of my gold-plated toilet, and hit my head on the platinum-plated sink. Then I realized getting as much of that token minted on Ethereum by the guy who was convicted back in the mid-2000s of e-mail spamming fake medicine scams is a fantastic idea. HEX was pumped and dumped, so it's due for another pump, right?

I did some research watching YouTube videos. I made some replies asking where I could get some HEX and everyone kept telling me the only person still hodling HEX is @lasseehlers.

In a statement that left the crypto world reeling, @lasseehlers declared, "It's time for a shake-up BALLHEADS! Steemit is now under new management, and we're ushering in a new era of truth social networking with LASSECASH and PUPPY tokens leading the charge. With the Steemit sockpuppet witnesses now under anarcho-capitalism control, a hardfork will be forced through and the BALLHEADS will lose access to their funds in their wallet."

As the Steemit community grapples with Justin Sun 2.0, there is talk amongst disillusioned Steemit users of starting a new platform when @lasseehlers hardforks Steemit to purge all of the users that belong to the statist Illuminati.

Stay tuned for more developments, and remember, in the crypto world, anything can happen – especially on April 1st!