My self-note

Forgiveness is vital to physical and psychological well-being.

Forgiveness is an internal, individual and voluntary process of letting go of feelings and thoughts of anger, resentment, bitterness and the need for revenge against someone we believe has wronged us, including ourselves.

Forgiveness is not accepting, forgetting or tolerating an offense, nor does it imply reconciliation, although this often occurs as part of the process, and may involve a new perspective or healthy distance.

"Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." - Malachi Mccourt

Forgiveness is vitally important to mental health and has more to do with our relationship with ourselves than with who or what we are forgiving: forgiveness frees emotionally involved people rather than keeping them trapped in injustice or trauma . . Studies indicate that forgiveness improves psychological and physiological well-being and offers protection against future suffering.

Forgiveness is for the forgiving: most of the time, not forgiving means imprisoning yourself for a fault that is not yours, tying yourself to the past, and tying yourself to a vengeful or resentful future.

Studies find that unforgiving couples are more competitive and focus on being "right" and winning arguments, rather than working together to resolve their disagreements. Emotionally close and committed couples are more likely to forgive.

Forgiveness is a choice that is made on an ongoing basis and may require sustained effort and a significant investment of energy.

To begin forgiving, you must take responsibility for how you feel. This does not mean that you must accept or like what happened, but that you take back control of how you react to your emotions and behavior.

Forgiveness is a process. The time required and difficulty vary significantly.