Do you want the power to have a love that lasts forever?
I kept postponing this writing because I didn’t think I was ready to share this story.
It was my first real access to what it means to have power. To decide who stays and who goes.
Watching movies, and reading romance novels gave me a distorted version of Love.
I thought it was just like the fairy tales. That once people were in love, they stay rooted in love forever.
What I did not know was that a lot of work is put into love.
Never had it cross my mind that as per everything in life, love too ought to be worked.
I was in love with this guy for more than two years, and he was in love with me too. We were planning our lives together, so I did literally everywhere around him.
I never thought there would come a day when I had to make plans without him in the picture. I used to imagine how it will feel like to wake up one morning, and he says it is over.
The imagination was heartbreaking so was the real experience. Except he did not have to say it, he acted it.
I cried I cursed, I tried to hurt him with everything I had……words, fingers, everything. But nothing changed.
It felt like living in hell with no fire. I wanted to die. No, I thought I was going to die. It was 8 months of agony.
I could not sleep at night. I walked from one end of my room to the other every night. And then sleep throughout the day.
When they say someone who sleeps a lot is sad, believe it.
Once I woke up, I will be interacting with my neighbors with smiles. But I was dying inside.
I was losing control. I wanted to feel in control. But the power was slipping out of my hands every day.
I never knew I could survive it. I acted all strong in the presence of my friends. I was the one with the most envied relationship so looking all weak and broken was not in my dictionary.
I was helpless. I needed help. Yet I was not reaching out to anyone.
Everything I was taught as a child about relationships, came floating back.
I remember mum says if I digress from all her teachings, I was going to cry.
And that I will be crying secretly, all alone.
And it happened, just the way she said it would.
Just when I thought my world was crashing down and there was nothing I could do, a light shown through.
I woke up one morning, and in my usual jovial manner, I asked my neighbor to give me a book to read.
The sadness had made me forget to do all of my favorite things. That included reading.
I begged him. I told him I haven’t read a new book for weeks.
He told me that the book that is available isn’t religious. And that it was thought-provoking and might conflict with everything I was taught
I did not mind. I just wanted an escape from my unhappiness. I just wanted the freedom to do what I loved doing again.
So I agreed to read it. There I opened the first page and saw these lines;
The feeling of having no power over people and events is generally unbearable to us--- when we feel helpless, we feel miserable. No one wants less power; everyone wants more. Robert Greene, 48 Laws of Power
No way, this is clearly to speaking to me. I want this. I needed it so badly, I did not know I did. So I dive into each page with utmost concentration. And I found life again.
I understood where I went wrong. I understood why my boyfriend acted the way he did. I understood why I could not get him to stay. I understood what I needed to do to let go.
I understood why I should not have whined, cursed, or say anything.
It was written in the pages of the book my neighbor gave me.
The solution.
My miraculous recovery.
In the next few days, I acted with the utmost power and control.
Everything he said or do no longer affected me, I was the one doing stuff that affected him terribly.
The tables were turned. The person who cursed, talked, shouted, screamed, felt betrayed was no longer me, but my Ex.
I was no longer reacting, I was being proactive.
It did not sit well with him.
For the first time since everything happened, he was at the receiving end.
He cursed. I had made up my mind. I disdained what I could not have, and it worked perfectly. I was healed.
I did not want to get into a new relationship at first but after reading this book afterward, I found that I could be a better lover. And I was.
After reading the 48 laws of power. I advanced into reading The Art of Seduction by the same author.
Here I realized, love doesn't just happen, someone is doing something that is considered magical to the other person.
There are moments in our lives, however, when we all act differently –when we are in love.
We fall under a kind of spell. Our minds are always preoccupied with our concerns; now they become filled with thoughts of the loved one.
We grow emotional, lose our ability to think straight, act in foolish ways that we would never do otherwise.
If this goes on long enough something inside us gives way; we surrender to the will of the loved one, and to our desire to possess them. The Art of Seduction, Robert Greene
Oh no! We have got it all wrong. We all have the power to make another human fall in love with us and stay in love with us forever.
It won’t just happen, we need to work for it. We need to make an effort to make it work. As I said before, love needs to be worked for just as with any other thing.
After this realization, I went into a new relationship with all of the tools of power that I acquired.
I had a relationship that everyone envied. No one understood what was going on. There is a couple in my compound that had to learn from my new relationship. I was literally in a relationship that made the world wish they had.
And it was because of reading and preparing. We cannot have power if we are not prepared to work for it
As it stands, I think all the errors we have in our governmental system can be changed if the leaders are willing to learn.
Those manifestoes they promise us can be achieved if they learn how to make the rest of the people bend to their will.
The world will bend without any grudge because it will be a subtle art of seduction.
Do you want the power to have a love that lasts forever? Then it is possible.
Go ahead and find out how. Then implement them. Watch the world bow to you without them realizing it.
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Thank you hivebuzz for the update. I will put in more effort.
Enjoyable read. Have you ever heard the phrase applied to couples that are experiencing relationship problems: 'if you truly love someone, let them go. If they do not return, they never loved you in the first place'. This phrase is fitting of your article as you need the power within you to trust your love enough to let them go. Love can be the best thing in the world, I agree, if it's worked as you say, Personally, I prefer to think of it as a nurturing process rather than work.
Good luck in the contest.
NO, I haven't. But now that I am reading it, it makes proper sense to me. And I have committed it to memory, in case I find myself or someone I know in this kind of situation.
I might be saying the same thing though, maybe, I just did not get my tenses or phrases right. lol
Thank you so much for this insightful comment
What a place to go and seek for healing, 48 laws of power? Glad that it worked for you anyways, but don't you think that while the principles of power would make you win, it might also make you to be a bit manipulative?
Indeed lasting relationships isn't automatic, it must be worked on.
Lol. You could be right. It was for my healing process, never used it to manipulate. Once when I wanted to manipulate someone, I read a different book......."The art of Manipulation" by a different author.......hehehehhe
Thank you for sharing in my thoughts
Love is a 2 way thing, actions and reactions, once those 2 disconnects, one would no longer find love.
Some people expect their partner to show them love at all given time but they are not willing to go extra mile to proof their love. No matter how he or she loves you, if you don't show him you're worth the love, he or she would gradually grow cold feet.
It's just like a firewood, if the fire is not to natured, it will die over time
I agree, it is a two-way thing. And even getting your partner to respond to your love with his or her ways is recorded in the art of seduction too. It's a chapter that is titled "Give them space to fall --The pursuer is pursued".
It highlights, how the one who was doing the seducing can turned to be wanted, pursued, or even tried to be seduced by the other party.
Thank you for contributing, sir
This is inspiring ,alot of us tend to allow ourselves to get overwhelmed by whatever challenges we are going through,we should learn to stay strong enough to overwhelm challenges and not the other way round....
And concerning love,many of us have all had our share of heartbreak which often gets very painful when we are so much in love with the person we had the break up with.....
That is true @informationvault. Thank you very much for contributing.
Very enjoyable read, edystringz. You bring up an important point that getting into a relationship takes effort and so does maintaining a relationship. People often forget that and expect things to be perfect if they're meant to be together.
Lol. It is this part that I was guilty of too. I felt since we were meant to be together, then things would be perfect. I am glad I learned early on, that love needs effort too.
Thank you for reading through, sir
Love is a job for 2, with ups and downs, difficult moments but always united, I liked your post, I had 2 strong failures where I also thought that everything was ending, but then I met the person who is my husband today and after 10 years, we continue in a relationship built on a rock to be strong, supporting each other together with love !!! successes in the contest.
Oh wow!
I am happy for you and your husband ..
Keep the fire burning, ma'am💓💓
There's always something causing an affection to flow, that's why it is easy for people we thought can never get over us, finally do. The thing is once any atom of distance is created, in time, when those center of attraction is not longer there to get the individual enchanted, the love will definitely fade slowly.
Yeah
That is true
Thats why if you want to keep it flowing you need to learn to alternate between giving your lover space, and bridging the gaps to spend time with them
That way, if distance sets in, it will make then miss you, appreciate your presence, and love you the more
Your text reminded me of myself a few times.
It is very painful to see someone we love just walk away. It is even more painful to see him leave because he fell in love with someone else.
But it is life and we can only have control over our attitudes, over our wills. When we are heartbroken, what kills us is that we have no control over the other person's feeling, this is maddening.
But, I'm glad you found a way out of this. I also found it, 4 months ago I’m taking it one step at a time, trying to live in the present. For 4 months, with each passing day, I think less of that person.
I still wonder if there will be a day that I will stop thinking forever.
But I try not to worry about it.
Here I am telling you from experience that this day will come. You will be surprised at how much you could stay without even remembering that person exist in the first place. It will be very funny because you never thought a day will come when someone who was a part of your entire life just seems as they weren't there in the first place.
I am happy you are slowly moving on, and since this is deliberate, I am sure you will be over it soon.
With this, I believe you have experienced this too. Just thinking about it could make you want to die or go crazy. But it is fine because we learned a lot from the experience.
Thank you so much for being here, and sharing your experience with us. I appreciate, knowing that I wasn't the only one here and not the only one who came out of it alive.
There is definitely a lot of empathy in this conversation! I'm glad we shared our experiences.
Yeah, me too
Thank you
They say love is giving someone the power to hurt you and hoping they dont.
I read the art of seduction a long time ago. Tried a couple of the rules and they did work. However, i had to decide on the type of person i wanted to be and it wasn't a manipulator.
Power is very dynamic and can be used in different ways. One way i have tried to use knowledge is to build my esteem. Knowing who you are puts you in a better position in any situation. Even people tend to notice when you hold yourself at high esteem.
Are you serious? I am hearing this for the first time. Yet it is so true.
It is just the way you see it. It is not being manipulative, it is understanding what the other person is missing in their lives, and giving it to them in a platter of gold.
This is something they may not get anywhere else, because the rest of the people may be looking out for their benefits and not this person's benefits in the longest run. I am really hoping you understand.
This is s true. No one can give you respect if you do not earn it. It is as simple as that. There are no two ways about it
Thank you so much for contributing sweetheart. I appreciate
I loved your story, I lived through something very similar, it took me more than a year to get up, I looked like a kind of walking mummy because of how bad I was. Although I read that book and many others, in my case it was the Bible that inspired me to love myself and love myself again, the power of love transforms lives, but first we must love ourselves before loving someone else. The power of God's infinite love for us gives us hope and teaches us true love.
Translated with www.DeepL.com
I agree. God's love is so infinite that we need to learn from it.
I am glad to know you had your transformations, and it is interesting that yours came from the scripture. I am sure a lot of people have had various transformations from any other means possible. But your case is different, and the fact that you learned to love yourself is beautiful
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us
This is one of the best I have read.
I am not the king of reason but the whole narrative is very good, and the way you express it.
Deep Reflection, and you are on my bookmarks.
Oh really? Thank you so much for this
I am pleased, no, happy, pleased, no, no, proud to be on your bookmarks....lol
Everyone will suffer for love at some point. Because nobody understands and needs time to understand.
Some will spend their lives suffering and not understanding ...
Others understand right at the beginning, some need to fall several times until they are calloused and understood ...
About love I have written many things and I understand well what happened and how it felt in the beginning.
And I hope that today you are that new strong person in life.
Love, it's only from father and mother to children (and look at some of them there), the rest is just passion with the sum of illusion over fears and desires.
Love may even be born between two people, but several factors are needed
Anyway, this is my philosophy of life about love
One day maybe I'll share my vision better xD
I would love to read your take on love
And yes a lot of people have their fair share of experience with love
The love we experience with our parents is far different and it cannot be compared with the passion we feel about the opposite sex who is not family by blood
That's okay
One of these days I bring my life philosophy about love xD
In my point of view, eternal love is a kind of great illusion (which many people prefer to feed to satisfy themselves). I guess love lasts as long as it takes to become something really remarkable in people's lives (not necessarily in the lives of both people at the same time).
I completely agree
Love takes time to become remarkable something in our lives
Thank you for contributing
Thanks for opening up @edystringz, I found a lot of value in hearing your story. I'm going to take more care in "preparing for love" after reading this. It seems like the success of a relationship is largely dependant on the two people understanding one another and realising when there is something wrong.
When you described how the tables turned in that relationship and your ex-boyfriend started to get frustrated and irate, it highlighted the power of perception and how the control can be put back in your hands given the opportunity for clearer thinking.
Great to hear that you've found a healthier love for your life.
I am glad you did, sir
This is very true
Thank you for this contribution
Thank you very much for the support. I appreciate.
You know it's very difficult getting back up from a relationship that you had poured out your heart and soul to build just to wake up one morning and watch it crumble. It's actually amazing that you turned the tables around proving to him how strong you can be without him so he doesn't go about thinking he has actually made her look like a fool, just the same thing I would have done you know!! I have actually trained myself to the point that if I get into a relationship with anyone no matter how much I said I loved you, honestly the day you feel like Walking away I won't give a fuck about it but tell you to go on. I would even become more happier than ever and glow more making you see yourself as one liability that stood in my way of looking radiant. For our leaders those ones don't ever wanna repent. May God help them.
Lol
You are so funny but it is true.
We no longer have to sit back and mourn because someone decided to leave
Someone said up there that if we love someone we should let them go, and that if they loved us, they will return, if they don't then they did not
God is the only one who can help us with our leaders sis
Thank you so much for your contribution
My pleasure dear. I'm glad I could contribute.
Wait ... I need those books. ! I also want to be tough on love. 😅
hahhahhahhahahhaa
You are very funny but you can get your own hard copy from amazon, or download the various pdf here
The 48 laws of power: https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-48-laws-of-power-e186479357.html
The art of seduction: https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-art-of-seduction-e33404731.html
i've been 25 y.o and this article reminds me to prepare my self about love and choosing the best one on my life, also i must to prepare to be better person especially to my partner in future soon. Thanks for sharing :)
I like this point very much. I hope that you will become a better lover. Thank you for stopping by
Hey @edystringz
Sorry to hear what happened to you initially but glad that you found a new self. Approaching love with abundance (or power) is what gives love a new meaning. I guess that is what you found in your new love. Maybe, you were not supposed to be in the earlier relationship and so it still worked out in your favor. I was smiling when you said you had turned the tables and the other person was cursing and whining.. Tskk Tskk.. Now, he knows how it feels. :)
Thanks for sharing your story. :)
Hahahhahhahha
I am glad I could make you smile, sweetie
You could be right because every time I reflect upon I see an iota of truth in here
Thank you so much for your kind words