The Pillars of Authenticity

Authenticity is a core concept in creativity, human nature, psychiatry, and existentialism. In existentialism, authenticity is the level to which an individual's acts are congruent with his or her values and desires, even despite external social pressures to conform. By contrast, conventional realism regards what exists as it really is: the way things really are at the sub-conscious level, regardless of whether these levels can be objectively measured or not.

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A major part of how to make decisions is to face up to external motivators. Sometimes these external motivators can be our own personal failures in other ways - for example, when people don't like what they see in public. At other times the external motivators are less self-evident. For example, the teacher may discourage kids from taking risks or taking chances, or the parent may punish children for trying to emulate their parents. At other times people's behavior is motivated by other factors - for example, the need to belong, the need for approval, or the need for affiliation with certain groups, such as sports teams, musical bands or political parties. Children who don't belong to groups are sometimes thought to be freaks or weirdos; gay teenagers are often said to have a confused identity; and people with different religious or political beliefs are often assumed to be brainwashed.

Being authentic is not about being right or getting yourself recognized. People want to know if you're true to yourself and your core values. If you are authentic, you will get clear about your values without having to spend time arguing with yourself over what these values mean. People want to know that they can trust you. They want to know that they can rely on you to be true to himself and to set aside his doubts and misgivings, so that he can make his own decisions. So being authentic is more important than following somebody else's lead, or pretending to be something you're not.

The most important quality of authenticity, however, is its ability to make us strong and free. The ability to stand firm and strong when others around us try to weaken us by poisoning our emotions or twisting our words, is authenticity at its best. If authenticity makes us free and strong, it's because we have found an inner balance with ourselves. And that inner balance, plus all the relationships we build as a result of that inner balance, makes us resilient enough to overcome any test we may face in our lives.

So, if being authentic is all about making us better people, then how do we get clear about our own beliefs? How do we make sure we support and champion our own beliefs? How do we find our own personal beliefs and principles and work with them, not against them? And how do we find other people who are also working toward establishing their own personal beliefs, principles and dialogue with them? Those are the things we need to focus on when we are talking about authenticity.

Most of us have had some experience with manipulative behavior, and we have all been afraid of being manipulated or used. We have all felt uncomfortable, vulnerable or ashamed when our needs were not being met in the relationships we have established with other people. That's why we have all experienced feeling pushed around or spoken down when we are engaged in authentic conversations. So, if we want to experience authentic freedom and leadership, we have to be open and clear about what it is that we believe and what behaviors we practice, not just on the surface of our interactions with others, but deep within ourselves as well.

Being an authentic person means being clear about your beliefs, knowing yourself well, being comfortable with who you are and having faith in your own intuition. Those are the three pillars of authenticity. When you have faith in your own intuition, you can go ahead and be authentic in spite of what others may think. And you can also be open to learning new things and opinions because that's what being an authentic person entails. Learning and acquiring new skills, talents and perspectives is a normal part of growing up and becoming an adult.

So, being true to your beliefs means being authentic in everything you do and saying, even if you have to say it forcefully. Being authentic is not about imposing your beliefs on others. It is more about respecting their thoughts and feelings and learning to express them without compromising your own beliefs. After all, if you don't respect someone's beliefs, you don't respect your own, either.