7/9/25

I need to really stop trying to fix what's not broken. Ugh. was working on another chess post but that will have to wait now because I tried to mess with sizing of the gifs I make and the converter I use and trust has a daily limit of conversions. Lovely! Yeah. Just add that to my list of problems I guess.

The other day was my dad's birthday. He passed away when I was a baby. I've always been sentimental about his passing even though I never got to know him. It's a bit of a double edged sword in multiple ways. I don't have memories of him, but I always wished I did. As I become older and gain life experience I wish I could have him around for advice or whatnot. I wish he could have seen me grow up. Obviously I can't be like infinitely massively sad about his passing forever, I'm sure he wouldn't want me to just be sad forever. But as time goes on I also get a bit more sentimental towards him, just in a different way. I'm sure he'd love his grandson so much. Just being a dad now, I just think about him in many different ways. I'm already approaching his age when he passed and it's a rather odd feeling. I thin about him a lot. I have these DVDs of him interacting with me that I haven't played in ages. I think with everything I've been through, it would be too much. Maybe I should try sometime, and simply enjoy it instead of sad. I wasn't sad when I watched them years ago but, being as stressed and depressed as I am, I think it would be tough for me to just watch happily. I don't know, it would just be heavy. But since it's his birthday recently, maybe I should. Maybe I would take it better and find inspiration or peace or something. It's rather wild how he was into technology like that back in the 90's. I don't know, it was before the internet and I imagine having a tape recorder was expensive back then.

But yeah, I am so stressed like usual. I haven't slept very well recently, I think tonight I should get like a proper ten hours in or something. Meh.

I could do with this heat going by bye-bye too!

Hive on folks.