5/23/22

Women. I'd really like to love a single woman for life one day. It's a shame I'm terrible at finding a partner. I grew up with a single mom who seemed to basically have major daddy issues and for good reason I suppose.

That being said, I had very little example of how any relationship between a man and woman should work. Let alone a healthy one. Probably why I was such a shitty boyfriend while I was dating. Also, I was simply a jerk.

I believe whenever I find my next real relationship I will be a better man. Maybe I'm dead wrong. But I like to think I will be a lot better due to past experiences.

Relationships are complicated, and a lot of thoughts and feelings come to mind when I think of possibly being in one in the future.

There's a co-worker that's older than me that seems to like me. I honestly don't like her like that. She's older than me by kind of a lot. She's not overly pushy or obvious but it can be uncomfortable. Overall, she's very nice though.

I want a woman about my age or younger. I'd like to be able to have some kids one day.

There was a girl I actually gave my number to the other day while at work. It was a nice little encounter but she hasn't gotten back to me. She seemed to like me and other customers agreed. Oh well, I'm absolutely not sweating it.

There's a third very special woman that I would actually love to be with, but she's actually a dang lesbian and I mean, I just think I'd look like a giant fool if I ever even attempted to take it beyond friendship. This woman I have known my entire life and our friendship is kind of amazing. I don't want to like, ruin that or her to laugh at me since she is both taken and obviously appears to be attracted to her own sex. At the same time she sends me many memes on Instagram. Sometimes even mildly suggestive ones in terms of like relationship-y sex-y types of memes. But perhaps I'm reading into it too much and they are simply just supposed to be funny. Still, the memes come almost daily and I kind of love it. I send her memes and messages too.

I'm actually about to watch a movie or two she suggested. Wanderlust and I guess a show called Pentaverate.

It's been two years since I've been with anyone and really I just feel like a broke loser to even bother trying to date someone or anything.

As much as I like to think I'd be an improved boyfriend, how the hell do I know?

But yeah, that's a little woman/dating rant.

I am just going to stay comfortable on my own path, and attempt to save money, as difficult as that can be.

Besides, I have one person that does love me. My son. That love is strong, and critically vitally important to me.

Life is just weird, yo. Hive on folks.

Random song I like that has nothing to do with my post. Just a dope song. Gonna have a chat with Mary and just chill.