11/30/22

Woke up from a nap that went a little too long. Need to sleep more for sure, but I'm definitely a bit awake now. So mad I didn't get to call my son before he fell asleep. So annoying.

I've been watching a lot of specific content on YouTube lately and at first it helped me a lot but now it's starting to just make me depressed. I'm so tired of feeling hopeless and empty.

I just have nothing on my mind and everything on my mind at the same time.

I want to make a change in life that will help improve it, but all I ever feel is just stuck.

I don't know, nobody cares anyway. Maybe I'm just meant to be nothing and just be a loser. I should just suffer in my depression like everyone else and wait till I croak.

I'm starting to wonder if the life I want is even possible. Maybe I should have some faith but I don't know man.

I grew up essentially an only child. Never had family around. Never had friends. My existence seems pretty pointless.

My son is the only thing that like, keeps me functioning just barely. Once he's grown, I'm not sure what else is left.

Maybe I'm just the part of society that's meant to die off. I'm clearly unequipped for life LOL.

This is a depressing post, but I've definitely felt sadder than this. I just feel deeply fed up and uninterested.