RE: The Lineage.

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Love the story and your writing Wongi. The first 3/4 of the story has perfect cadence for me. If it was me writing it, I would have stumbled by hurrying it along but your speed was just right.

Since it is the inkwell I assume you want some feedback too, and in that spirit, I have the following. In one sentence about the reason for the situation, i.e. the curse, you write "your ancestors". That small word 'your' stopped my reading for a second. On reviewing the story again I realized why. I believe you meant to write "our ancestors" there. Otherwise, it feels a bit passive-aggressive, like how parents say "She got that nose from your side of the family" :)

Second point is that the end felt a bit hurried. But not an issue if it was because you had finish the post soon. If you ever turn it into a short story you might want to make that part as deep as the entry.

Finally that last line did not work for me. 'Interesting' is no longer an interesting adjective, especially for such a big reveal. I don't have any suggestions to be honest, but when you turn it into a short story we need to find a more impactful adjective for such a sad surprising situation.

All in all it is a lovely post and as usual you get top marks with me with your innovative mind and great control on language.

Cheers from a fellow #dreemerforlife



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You made really amazing observations and I am grateful for that😊.

I believe you meant to write "our ancestors" there

You are right, I made a mistake here and I also missed it while I was proofreading.

Also, I will work on my endings next time to ensure that they are as intriguing as the start. Thank you once again:)

!LUV

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