Alone

ALONE

Alone I sat on my hospital bed in the company of provisions laying on the metallic cupboard bedside it, with bottles of injections, comforted with hose connected to a plastic bag stopping with a syringe pierced into my skin.

My serenity lies on that plastic bag of chemical. I feel pain so I dooze off never to awake to pain again.

Sickle cell is a deadly but not so deadly disease, classified into Hemoglobin SS(most common and severe), Hemoglobin SB(Beta zero), Hemoglobin SC, Hemoglobin SB+(Beta), Hemoglobin SS,SE&SO.

Mine is the hemoglobin SS most painful and severe type when i feel all is fine just then there is a change in my temperature making my blood vessel narrow causing me shortage of blood and oxygen.

Most at times I just wished I could be Chuka or even Dayo living freely without being comforted each moment of your life with injections and drugs.

I don't even think they've ever spent a day or two on an hospital bed before,but I'm here alone on my hospital bed soliloquizing about life and joy.

Life is happiness but not for me, mine has been mixed with pain, brutalized by syringes on my skin and comforted with that little chemical substance every moment.

Do you actually know how it feels to know it's basically worthless living, knowing fully well that every breath you take is a risk of passing out when you are just starting life at 35 your subconscious reminds you that by 40 you will be gone or probably if you got so lucky by 47 all the battles of life you strongly fought is over.

Research says cure to SS is surgery I have no problem because I can afford it.

My problem is those that can't afford the treatment (STC30)worth #50,000 for just two packs 2 won't definitely do talk more of bone marrow transplant or even a stem cell transplant.

Like a flash this thoughts drained with my awareness that I feel this pain ALONE just me ALONE.