Saying Sorry

_{Photo by softeeboy}

I think it's safe to say that a lot of people especially in Nigeria has a huge problem when it comes to saying Sorry. And the sad thing is that I think all of this all started with our parents.

An African parent will never apologize or say that they're sorry to their kid no matter what, even if they are wrong. They would rather try to shift the blame on someone else or try to use gifts (they do this mostly for their kids) like biscuits or candies to try and make the person feel better and probably also make themselves feel better.

I remember one time my dad had angrily struck me with a cane that ended up splitting the nail on my thumb into two (because my thumb had taken the blow from the cane), I remember crying throughout that night and all he had done was call me to him, examine the injury he had caused and then say that if I had not done what I did, he wouldn't have struck me with his cane. I knew that was the closest thing to an apology that I will get, so I took it and went to bed.

I also have this friend who brags with the fact that nothing can make him say sorry to anyone. To him, I guess he sees it as an ego thing and he feels nothing is wrong with it. I tried making him see that having an attitude like that would take him no where in life but the young man wasn't willing to listen so I gave up on him and just decided to let life teach him instead.

Well, it turned out that all he needed to change his mind was to fall in love. This dude recently got into a relationship and I don't know what happened but him and his girlfriend had this fight. At first he had vowed he wasn't going to do nothing unless she approached him and apologized but it turned out his girlfriend is also as tough as he is and she too had refused to go talk to him, instead, she began to go out with her friends to party and have a good time (a behavior that translated to her not giving a damn).

Knowing that he could lose her to some stupid ego that he has, he finally did it, he went to talk to her. And no, he didn't use the same method our parents do use, he didn't try to shift the blame to anybody (maybe because there was no one to take the blame), he just went to her and apologized.

I don't know if they're back together, but I'm happy he's beginning to learn and change, my only wish is that our parents learn to do the same.