Loneliness
The Ember months are probably my least favourite time of the year, especially December. For some reason I just hate the whole Christmas festive season and I don't even know why. During this time of the year, I always find myself getting depressed and angry and I really don't know why. Deep down in my heart, I know something happened during this time and that is why I hate December's but no matter how hard I try to remember what that thing is, the further it gets away from me.
It really bothers me and I hate the feeling because no one likes being angry for no reason, not even the Hulk. Luckily for me, I've sort of device a means to tackle the sadness when it comes. It is a method I sort of came up with last year's December and it worked, not perfectly though but at least I didn't feel as terrible as I normally would.
The method is actually pretty simple. When I start to feel like shit, I always remind myself of how far I've come and how well I'm doing for myself. I remind myself that there was sometime in the past where getting to where I am now was only a dream and that I should actually be more grateful for how amazing everything in my life has worked out.
Whenever I say this words to myself, it somehow cheers me up and just take my mind away from the sadness for a minute and focus it on the good things I've accomplished.
At the end, I feel like I feel this way mostly because I'm alone (I've spent the last three Christmas holiday away from my family) and I feel like the loneliness gets to me the most during that period because that is when every one of my friends is at home with their family having a good time. I don't know if that's it but I really hope that's the problem because what that means is that I most probably will get it all over with if I go back home to spend the holidays with my family.
Hopefully.
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STOPIt's the total opposite for me I'd say, as these last few months of the year get closer, I become more energetic, and it stays that way till March/April maybe.
It's around mid-year, when I suffer from a "clammy" and lethargic lifestyle and routine. The days feel slow and lazy, getting work done on time becomes a challenge, and I choose to stay indoors mostly, even my diet gets messed up. The hellish heat surely makes the experience much worse, the traffic is bad, maybe there's a bit of load-shedding too.
Around here everyone's just in a jolly mood around the last few months; even if they're busy and occupied, tackling the same old challenges, they just hold a more positive vibe when taking it all on.
It's the same thing around here too, that's why I say this is a ME problem. I honestly don't know why I feel this way because even I know that this is the period where I should be at my happiest but I'm not.
Well, we all have our ways and experiences, not all of it is going to be the same. I guess you're "built different", you know. 😉
😂😂😂