It's Hard To Love
They say love is a beautiful thing but is that always true, is love really a beautiful thing?
To me, I feel love isn't always what it seems because at the end of the day, when it eventually leaves, it leaves you with nothing but emptiness and then the regret sets in and then sometimes you wish you never knew what love was in the first place.
Unfortunately, the only solution to this is not loving at all and we all know that is next to impossible because we humans are bound to love someone at one point of our lives, it will happen whether we plan it or not.
The year 2020 was the year I got dealt a blow that almost killed me. Actually, the year 2020 was really messed up for a lot of people because that was when the nation had this huge ENDSARS protest that resulted to the military killing a lot of civilians but that wasn't what made it entirely messed up for me, I had lost someone close to me to the hands of death and I still haven't recovered from that pain till date. The sad thing was that I wasn't even given the chance to say goodbye to this person, and had heard over the phone that she was no more.
This was the first time a loved one really close to me was kicking the bucket and I felt like doing the same too. I remember the countless nights where I woke up beside my roommate only to cry silently because I didn't want any one to see me cry.
I would cry my eyes out and then cry myself back to sleep. I still cry now even though it's been three years and this is because we don't really get over the death of a loved one, we just learn to live with it.
I always try not to think of this incident but whenever I'm alone, I find myself lost in thought, thinking about it as if there was something I could have done differently if I had been there.
Love is indeed a beautiful thing, but be prepared for when they leave because they always do. Be prepared so that you don't end up losing control of yourself and going insane due to the death or lost of someone you love dearly.
It is good to love, but just like everything else, it has its consequences.