A Shimmer Of Hope

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Sandra was easily the most beautiful girl I had ever met, with skin so perfect like that of princess Jasmine and eyes that enchanted you. She was down to earth and thick in both thighs, a typical African beauty. Her smile always lights up the whole room and her voice as melodic as rhythms from heaven.

We met during my friend's girlfriend's get together at Tropicana mall and even though we didn't talk we had shared eye contact throughout the whole event. I was lost and I couldn't resist staring at this amazing work of art. She was a little timid and easily shyed away from conversations. She smiled when someone said something polite to her and with bright eyes, she exchanged pleasantries.

I had hardly spoken to her but we had said a lot already, so when she announced it was time for her to go, I walked up to her and stretched out my hand. She didn't see it at first but looked my way when her friend tapped her in my direction. She searched my eyes as she brought out her hand to meet mine. Our hands rested on each other and then she awkwardly pulled hers away. I just smiled and said bye.

Weeks later I saw a text on my instagram and was surprised to see that it was Sandra. She had eventually found me, atleast that's what the text said and so we started to vibe on chat. We talked for hours about things ranging from our interests to school stuff and some other surface things. This went on for months and it was obvious that we were already fond of each other.

So during easter, I summoned the courage and asked her to be my girlfriend. I was shaken when she told me she had to think about it but I still didn't lose hope. Few days after easter she called me and told me that she had accepted. What a day that was, It was easily the happiest day of my life, my friends even had to ask me why I was wearing such a bright smile and I ended up telling them the good news.

Months passed and I and Sandra had a perfectly normal relationship, we went out once in a while, we called each other for hours and always enjoyed each other's company. Yeah perfectly normal but there was really no spark especially because Sandra was always keeping to herself, sometimes she'll lock herself in her room for days and her parents would be overly worried. Other times when I call I could hear a certain level of pain in her voice but whenever I asked what was going on she'll wave it aside and say it was nothing.

Things remained the same for weeks and I got really worried. I couldn't wrap my head around what the matter could be so I decided to take a bold step to find out. In between calls I'll ask her to open up and tell me what the problem was but she would still put on her amazonian armor and give me the "everything is ok reply". I didn't stop, I couldn't stop, I loved her to much to let her die in silence while I was here for her. So I continued to try to break down that wall she set up, I began to care for her more, check up on her more, do everything I could to make her smile, I just wanted her to know that there was someone who was genuinely there for her.

So by October ending, after we spoke at length about how we'll both want our future to look like, she finally opened up to me. Apparently, the issue had been eating her up for a long time now,started since she was very little.

When she was just a little child, Her mother had almost thrown her off the balcony out of anger because her dad had expressed disgust that she wasn't a male child. Her parents had struggled for years to give birth to a make child but instead they got her eldest sister, her immediate senior sister and then her.

The issue had spanned up to be something big when her dad and mom would argue for hours and say hateful things to each other in front of the kids. Sometimes it ended up in fights and each time she saw them fight she broke down. She had grown up with a certain lack of love, her mom was bitter and frustrated, her dad was angry and hostile, her siblings had grown to experience violence with a lack of love couldn't even show her love.

She had grown up broken, always keeping to herself, keeping her demons close by and watching them eat her up slowly. There were days when she pleaded her mom for love but all she got were hurtful words piercing deep into her soul. Who was she going to run to?

Through out secondary school she had made friends but none of them could understand what she was going through. The violence increased and sometimes she ended up going to bed without food because this one didn't agree with the other one, it was a charade of pathetic stupidity and she was always at the wrong receiving end.

One day, she had summoned courage to confront her dad about what she was feeling and couldn't have seen what was coming. He beat her mercilessly and warned her never to say such things again. She cried bitterly and almost questioned God about her existence. That night she was going to end it all, ready to finally have that peace of mind she had always craved for.

She brought out the knife, held out Her wrist and was ready to cut that one vein that kept her alive. She struggled with her will power but just couldn't find the strength to do it. So she wept bitterly till she fell asleep. Since that day she had always worn a beautiful fake smile to cover up all the pain she felt inside.

I was astonished by her tale and almost couldn't believe that this beautiful lady I was looking at had gone through such ordeal. I was sad and angry at the same time because I had gone through some things and I thought I had seen it all but no I hadn't. I pulled her close, hugged her tightly and uttered the words that had never been too significant until right now, "I love you", and this time I really meant it.

From that moment on, what we shared was nothing like anything I had ever known, she had shown me her scars and I had treated them like they were mine. She also saw mine and still loved me for the man that I was and I am.

This might feel like a love story but it isn't, this is a tale of what everyone who wears a beautiful smile goes through on a daily. Most people are psychologically broken either by their parents, friends or society. Whatever the case may be, if you're in a situation to show them love, care, a shimmer of hope, pls do it with all your heart because you don't know it but you're saving a life.

Thank you for taking time to read this. God bless you ❤️

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