Post Malone - I fall apart.

I have come down with a terrible fever all of a sudden. From a hammering headache to an aging muscle pain along with boiling body temperature, it is pretty bad. It started around 2 days back. Usually, when you break a finger it gets plastered withan adjacent finger for support until it's strong enough. Just like that, us humans, usually tend to gain support from someone we percieve as close or worthy. I, too, had taken cover under someone but the response was "didn't you get any other day to get sick?". Smile and wave, boys, smile and wave.

So I did smile and wave, inside my head. It once again reminded me how alone and dark this world is. Reminded me that alone and loveless is the way of life. Maybe emotions, togetherness and love is only present when convenient. It's all about convinence. It always was. Find, keep, replace...it's always about personal convenience.

Or maybe it's about wrong timing. Maybe the time has brought upon a massive wave of rotating scary thoughts that are pestering you. A breeze of nervousness. Or maybe it is that you don't matter, your health doesn't matter, nothing matters because there is someone else who is over thinking their position and situation. Maybe. Never know.

But everything is so simple. A little bit of research. A little bit of open mindedness. A little bit of an attitude to learn and grow. Life is not complicated. The world is so advanced and so easy. Even a 50 year old can travel the world. It's all about your mentality and brain.

What's the title about? I'm not sure. Even though it's a relatively new song, it is so veey nostalgic to me. I listened to it again after a long time. There is a whole different planet surrounding this song, a planet I travel to when I hear it. I remember when it released and I used to listen to it. They say sometimes you listen to the music, sometimes you hear the words. They also say sometimes you listen to the music, sometimes the music talks to you. There are a lot of wonderful sayings about music, take your pick.
I think I relate to it, the song. Like I said, its not old but still is very nostalgic. It feels like a newer version of many songs of the same type that I vibe to in certain situations of my life. I used to listen to this song...and I would relate to it so badly. I think the biggest impact it had on me was because of the singer. Started his mainline career through really lively and fun rap... only to slowly reveal the darkness and emptiness inside. It tells you a lot about people. It also made me appreciate the bravery of showing vulnerability in the open. It is not easy, after all.

I fall apart. Yes, I did. I still am. Even after I decided many times not to fall apart, I did. I fell apart many times. I fall apart. Waiting not to fall apart anymore. Maybe, someone will realize.